Sex advice from Suzi Godson.

Q: I’ve always been quite a big drinker and recently decided to quit alcohol for good because I just wasn’t enjoying it anymore. Since then I’ve felt really shy in bed, so I’m just not enjoying sex with my wife as much as I used to.

My husband and I have such great sex when we’re on holiday — but as soon as we’re home it becomes quite boring and monotonous again. How can I keep the holiday spirit alive at home?

Dressing up makes your husband’s gift a fun costume, rather than as a reflection of who you are, says Suzi Godson.

The first year of marriage is assumed to be the most passionate and intimate period of a romantic relationship, but it is not always plain sailing, says Suzi Godson.

The sex you have in your head is always aesthetically perfect. Turn a camera on it and that illusion shatters instantly, says Suzi Godson.

Female sexual satisfaction is more complex and some women develop idiosyncratic strategies to coax orgasm, says Suzi Godson.

Sacrificing sex in the morning for his abs could be a reflection of marital unrest, says Suzi Godson.

Swinging from the chandeliers is great, but eventually, we all crave hugs and cuddles, says Suzi Godson.

Withholding sex in a marriage is often an attempt to communicate anger or hurt, says Suzi Godson.

Good relationships need to provide a mix of emotional, sexual and intellectual stimulation, says Suzi Godson.

How can you compare a silicone sex toy to a human being, says Suzi Godson.

Most men are only too pleased to hear their partner wants more sex, says Suzi Godson.

Women don’t expect a pat on the back after sex, whereas men, like peacocks, demand that their prowess be noticed and appreciated, says Suzi Godson.

Super-needy people crave love, affection and validation and require constant reassurance, says Suzi Godson.

Threesomes can be amazing, but they can also be a disaster, says Suzi Godson. 

Q. The way that my boyfriend makes love is stilted and jerky. He’s always trying to move into new positions, which breaks the flow for me and makes it less likely that I will have an orgasm. How can I broach the subject without hurting his feelings?

Couples who can’t be honest with each other about sex probably shouldn’t be engaging in it says Suzi Godson.

You must both be completely honest about what you do and don’t enjoy in bed, says Suzi Godson.

Q: My marriage has been going wrong for a while and last year I had an affair. I have two small children, so I decided I had to call it off. But now the very thought of sleeping with my husband makes my flesh crawl. Will it ever get any better? My husband doesn’t know about the affair.

A lack of parity in sexual attraction causes serious, often unsolvable, problems says Suzi Godson.

When it comes to integrating a fetish into a relationship, being up front and open is the only strategy that works long term.

Suzi Godson says anyone who consistently delivers sexual satisfaction and demands nothing in return is devaluing themselves. 

Suzi Godson says that tomen who make a lot of noise during sex are, to some degree, performing to elicit and, indeed, to augment male ejaculation. 

Suzi Godson says that it is completely natural that sexual interests will change as you age.

Suzi Godson says that sooner or later every other part of your anatomy will head south to keep your scrotum company.

Suzi Godon says being sensitive to your boyfriend’s feelings is likely to be a more effective strategy than throwing on the lights and demanding more adventure.

Suzi Godson says only a tiny minority of women enter into sexual liaisons with the intention of never seeing that person again. 

One of the best ways to help your girlfriend to feel more relaxed about sex may be to stop having it for a while. 

Suzi Godson gives advice for when you are struggling to fit sex into a busy schedule.