Is it just a myth to have multiple orgasms?

If you want to explore your potential, it is probably best to begin with self-stimulation, says Suzi Godson.
Is it just a myth to have multiple orgasms?

Q. Are multiple orgasms a myth? We’ve all heard about them but to my knowledge I’ve never had one and neither have any of my friends.

A. No they are not a myth, and yes you can have one. In my research I have spoken to many women who have experienced this.

The one thing they all have in common is that they (or indeed their partners) had at some point made an effort to maximise their pleasure.

Not all women have had consecutive orgasms, but that’s largely because so many women don’t take the time to understand their own bodies.

Most women who discover the joy of multiple orgasm do so when they are on their own.

If you want to explore your potential, it is probably best to begin with self-stimulation, which means you can discover what you like and need without any distraction.

It completely takes the pressure off and that in itself makes it more likely that you will achieve your goal.

Although using sex toys can speed things up, manual stimulation is a better way of learning how to identify the gradual build-up of sensation — for that is the key to having multiple orgasms.

There is no rush. What you are trying to do is recognise how your arousal ebbs and flows and eventually reaches a threshold.

When you do reach orgasm you will notice that your pelvic area lifts and squeezes. When the sensation subsides, continue to squeeze your pelvic floor to sustain that sensation.

Initially, your clitoris may be too sensitive to touch, but continue to stroke around the labia and the vulva. After 30 seconds or so you will be able to re-engage your clitoris and build your arousal back up.

If you keep going, you are likely to have a second orgasm and even a third. For some women, secondary orgasms are less intense. For others, they become progressively stronger.

Others say subsequent orgasms gradually decrease in intensity, but cumulatively are stronger.

Although there are several studies of men who have been able to experience multiple orgasm, they are the exception. Women, however, capable of having multiple orgasms because we don’t have what’s known as a refractory period.

After ejaculation men go through a recovery phase, which can last minutes or days, depending on the age of the man. During that period it is physiologically impossible for a man to maintain an erection.

However, lots of women struggle to have one orgasm — let alone several — largely because they don’t receive enough stimulation from their partner during sex, or don’t self-stimulate.

This is best evidenced by a study from 1991 called The Female Sexual Response Revisited: Understanding the Multiorgasmic Experience in Women, by Carol Anderson Darling. Nearly half of the women who answered the questionnaire said that they had experienced multiple orgasms.

Darling linked women’s multiple orgasms to the type of stimulation required to produce them. The majority of women who experienced multiple orgasm reported doing so during solo sex (26.3%). However, 24.7% experienced multiple orgasm via sexual intercourse.

Significantly, the women who reported multiple orgasm during intercourse were also much more likely to report additional clitoral stimulation.

Multiorgasmic women were also more likely to experience orgasm through elements of sex that involve their partner, such as oral sex or stimulation of the nipples.

Darling’s study clearly identifies the importance of both parties in the quest for multiple orgasms — which is equally true for a single orgasm.

The most important thing to remember is the importance of good communication. If you want your partner to be involved, you need to be able to convey what feels good or when you need him to slow down.

Darling’s study also identified the characteristics of women who were more likely to experience multiple orgasm. They ranged from women who were generally more explorative in their sexual activities, to those who enjoyed erotic literature.

The authors concluded that women who are more adventurous are more likely to have multiple orgasms.

However, it is also equally possible that the desire to reach multiple orgasm encourages women to be more experimental, so go for it.

Multiple orgasm is certainly not the holy grail, but as quests go, it’s pretty good fun.

  • Send your queries to: suzigodson@mac.com 

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