Sex advice with Suzi Godson: Marriage is passionless after my affair

Q: My marriage has been going wrong for a while and last year I had an affair. I have two small children, so I decided I had to call it off. But now the very thought of sleeping with my husband makes my flesh crawl. Will it ever get any better? My husband doesn’t know about the affair.

A: As Phillip Hodson, a psychotherapist and fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, says: “The price you pay for having an affair is learning to live with the guilt.”

And the trouble with the kind of infidelity you describe is that the problems that propelled you into the arms of another are still there now that the liaison has ended.