How can I build up my boyfriend’s confidence in bed?

Suzi Godon says being sensitive to your boyfriend’s feelings is likely to be a more effective strategy than throwing on the lights and demanding more adventure.

Q. I’m in my mid-30s. I’ve met a new man who is fantastic — but for someone who is normally very confident, he’s surprisingly shy in bed.

When we have sex, it’s very unadventurous and with the lights off.