Dr Ed Coughlan discusses how athletes and coaches can use the unprecedented shutdown on collective training to reset and reeducate and come back better.

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LET’S start by reminding ourselves of yesterday’s obvious prematch golden oldie: “That pitch looks so awful, it could be a real leveller; it might give United a chance”.

Get your thinking cap on. Can you remember a more negative build-up to any United game in your life? I can’t. Try as I might, I couldn’t find anyone sensible who thought the result would be anything other than a defeat. Pressed for a further opinion, most of the lads I know offered various estimates of the size of the new bodily aperture we would be acquiring — “be it torn, punched, or drilled,” helpfully expanded a colleague.

Sorting out Cork people for ages

When Manchester City lost to Wolves the other week, a colleague groaned “only the outbreak of World War Three could stop Liverpool now”.

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Hi gang, Audrey here. I pulled a few strings in the River Lee Hotel and got them to host a Christmas Coffee Morning for a selection of the misfortunates who write in to me every week.

After what United fans have been through this past six months, one doesn’t wish to sound ungrateful.

This week, a topic very close to my heart. It is an issue that has affected most people at some stage, that has touched many lives.

Music promoter Ed O’Leary is one half of events company The Good Room, along with Joe Kelly, he organises events and festivals including It Takes A Village music festival and Cork Podcast Festival, as well as venues Live At St Luke’s and the recently re-opened Kino on Washington St, where music trail events will take place throughout this weekend’s Guinness Cork Jazz Festival.

"Blimey. We almost beat the European champions in a game 90% of us had presumed would be heavily lost. And so now, please hold me back, lads."

Audrey's been sorting out Cork people for ages.

I’m showing my age, but does anybody remember Chubby Checker? Ah, you do. No, not the Welsh prop forward from the 1970s.

Audrey's been sorting out Cork people for ages.

Irish Ed Sheeran fans helped in no small way to help the singer’s main firm clock up revenues of more than €100,000 a day last year.

Sharing snaps from his hospital bed, the radio host urged followers to make the all-important appointment that he kept “putting off”.

As is now traditional here when United play the (snigger!) ‘Super Eagles’, I salute the entire mass of the Crystal Palace Irish Supporters’ Club.

Today FM has announced that Mairead Ronan will be joining the station, presenting her own prime time radio show.

I suffered from terrible judgment in my 30s and ended up marrying a guy from Mallow. I’m literally paying for it to this day.

Ms Swinson beat former cabinet member Sir Ed Davey to replace Sir Vince Cable at the helm of the Lib Dems.

Sorting out Cork people for ages...

As children become the focus of the summer exhibition at the Crawford, some of the participating artists tell Ellie O'Byrne about their own childhoods.

Sorting out Cork people for ages...

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Theatre

Hey. I’m rich but sound, which is why I bought a 2009 Opel for driving up to my tennis-outreach programme in Churchfield, because arriving up in my Merc SLK would be shouting “You people are beneath me”

Sorting out Cork people for ages.

Audrey's been sorting out Cork people for ages.

Never mind the pointless abomination that was United versus Cardiff. The final whistle has just gone at Brighton versus City, and I find myself yelping a cheer for the triumphant Blues.

What a difference a year makes. Twelve months ago, Bryan Byrne was playing in the B&I Cup final at Ealing’s Trailfinders Sports Ground in front of 1,386 fans.

My cousin has his ear to the ground on the real estate scene around town.

“Goodison is no place to go with a Spanish hangover,” fretted your pessimistic correspondent here last week, although not even I thought the week would turn out quite this badly.

Hunt saw Limerick win their last two All-Ireland titles, the later ending an 82-year drought.

No Jonathan Sexton, Rob Kearney on the bench and Jack McGrath given the weekend off.

Balbriggan is suffering from a serious seagull problem but residents are fighting back, writes Michael Clifford.

An island off West Cork has chosen a grand marshal with a difference to lead what is likely to be one of the smallest St Patrick's Day parades in the world.

In one of those ludicrous articles where players’ putative contractual valuations are bandied about, Harry Kane was priced at €330m on Saturday. What’s he worth now, I wonder, after striking out last night? More to the point, what’s De Gea to be booked in at — half a billion?

From movies to music, food to fashion, our critics reveal their cultural picks for the year ahead

What a week this is going to be for the chief. Assailed by critics on all sides, ridiculed in the media, undermined by rebellious underlings, and with another European test looming. Is this survivable?

And so with one coatless bound across Turf Moor, he was free; what a disappointing Sunday for all the Mourinho haters across the world.

Moved by their plight, they mobilised an army of volunteers. And tears of joy flowed yesterday as the results of their incredible DIY SOS-style makeover of a special school were unveiled.

Far from the madding crowd, deep in the caverns of the birthplace of the once great bastion of altruistic volunteerism that was the GAA, a room full of megalomaniacs congregated.