Sorting out Cork people for ages...
I rang my neighbour there, he’s a barrister. (Not a good one if he only lives in Ballinlough.) I said, what’s the story with following someone around with a drone. He said, I’m so sorry, it won’t happen again, tell me, do you have any plans to wear those red high heels in the near future? #ThePervyBarrister
I’d steer clear of Agony Aunt, that’s more a stressed-out failure kind of gig. My cousin is an eco-warrior, she has 14 different bins in her yurt. I said, what’s the first thing you look for in a guy? She said, nits, you should see the state of the men I hang around with.
Everybody does. Even in Ballinlough. My neighbour owns a pub in town. I rang him there and said what would you say to two Dublin 4 women down in Cork for the weekend? He said, that will be 30 quid for the two gin and tonics, girls. #StillCheaperThanDublin
I had a similar misunderstanding with my plumber once. If you’re interested in the details, go onto Google and search ‘Ballinlough Housewife learns there is more than one meaning to the word pump.’ (Maybe turn down the sound first.)
I rang my cousin in Macroom and said what would you like to get off your American relations? She said, 5000 km of personal space. I said, because of Covid? She said no, they’re always mocking our teeth. #Yellow.