I’d definitely be worried, if I were you. But not about coronavirus. Don’t get offended now, but you sound as gullible as the man who signed up for a Masters In Big Sums at the University of Kanturk.
I rang the Posh Cousin and asked which one she’d choose. She said, I’ve never been in either one obviously, but my gardener has a thing for Woodies. I said, there’s no need to tell me about your love life! #DirtyJoke
Don’t talk to me about celebs. I was in a pub last night, blinds-down, don’t ask. This well-known rugby player said, do you know who I am? I said yes. He said, so why won’t you talk to me? I said, because I know who you are. #CantKeepItInHisPants
Everyone is texting their ex in Posh Cork. I was back and forth to this German guy the other night when things got a bit frisky. I typed, Eric hon, I want you to send me a pic of something disgusting. So he went outside and took a photo of Cobh. #GermanHumour
I was actually telling my German friend about this, the way nightclubs in Ireland had to serve food to stay open late, so they’d start firing bowls of grub out of a hatch at midnight. She said, super, what would you get in a typical bowl? I said, food poisoning.