Ask Audrey: I feel sorry for the TD on the swing, must be awful being in Fine Gael

Sorting out Cork people for ages.

Hello old stock. There are some scurrilous rumours going around regarding a fall I had in a Cork hotel. It’s going through the courts, so I can’t go into too much detail, but some pup on Twitter claims that I had two pints in me at the time. This is an outrageous thing to say – I am one of the best drinkers in Cork and would never fall over after two pints. I had at least seven pints in me on the night in question, which is the norm when Hoggy and myself go for a quick one after work on Friday. Can you make this clear?

— Reggie, Blackrock, it’s not the compensation, what matters here is the principal, on the loan I need to buy a second house in Crookhaven.