I’m sorry to hear that (you are coming to Cork). I know langer is often used as a term of endearment down here, but I’m sure we can make an exception in your case. (Langer.)
My cousin is an expert in kids. (It wouldn’t hurt her to have one.) She said, that child is telling the truth, tell her to get his number, I really need to get my hands on a plumber.
I said, leaky tap. She said no, elaborate fantasy, do you know any firemen?
Most women are. #Punching. It turns out my Posh Cousin has a podcast on just this topic, called Ah Come On, Your Sense of Humour Isn’t that Good.
I told her your story. She said, wow, yet another person who doesn’t know that Curraheen is the Irish word for gold-digger.
Loads, but the lawyers won’t let me print it. #Dryballs. It depends what you want to see really. Schull is fantastic if you like looking at passive-aggressive social climbers, Baltimore is great if you want to hear people say “Boltimore is a city in America, you’re in B-a-l-ti-more now Lord Haw Haw”.
And the views in Kinsale are amazing, of people removing their wedding rings before heading into the pub. #Shameless
You think it’s bad now — wait until you get married. #10YearsAndCounting. My old school friend is still obsessed with anything to do with Home and Away. #SadReally.
I said, what are the chances of getting a woman to stop looking at Chris Hemsworth on her phone? She said rack off you flamin’ mongrel. (She’s gone a bit Alf Stewart.)