Ask Audrey: 'Rod Stewart is about as Scottish as a generous person with a nice set of teeth'

Audrey's been sorting out Cork people for ages.

Hey. I’m the leading social media influencer in Ireland measured by the number of my followers who think I’d go to Tullamore for a weekend break without getting paid by the local tourism board. #Imagine #WouldntFancyTheirJob. It’s my daughter’s holy communion this weekend #lovegod #justlovehim, we were going to skip the church until the priest backed down and said I could live stream it on Instagram. #Blessed. I haven’t been in a church in ages and don’t want to make a gowl of myself during the Mass, there’s bound to be a few of my followers there wishing they had my skin. So, like, do you still kneel after the Holy Holy Holy Lord bit?

— @YouSoWishLike, Turners Cross and Monte Carlo