#Joanna Fortune

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Joanna Fortune: Is my eight-year-old too young to hear about the facts of life?

#Joanna Fortune

Child psychotherapist

A COMPREHENSIVE SERIES OF ARTICLES ON THIS TOPIC

<p>Christmas is a hotbed of tensions. We invite our children to write a list of things they want, and we then ensure Santa can fulfil all (or as many as possible) of those wants. They grow up with this experience and develop the expectation they can issue a request and be entitled to have it met. Picture: iStock </p>

parenting

Joanna Fortune: My teenage daughters barely said thanks for all their Christmas presents

I was shocked by their lack of gratitude and said as much to them but they just shrugged their shoulders and sloped off. Have I spoiled my children for life?

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Joanna Fortune: It feels as if my in-laws hijacked Christmas

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Joanna Fortune: Our eldest child won't let her younger sisters out of her sight

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Joanna Fortune: My eldest says we're mean and no fun

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Joanna Fortune: My nephew doesn't get on with my children — and he's staying for Christmas

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Joanna Fortune: My two-year-old is missing her granny, who had to undergo surgery

Angry Teens

Joanna Fortune: My teenage daughters have started to argue

The fact that your girls have recently started arguing may not be related to their differences in skill sets and abilities — it is more likely due to a developmental clash based on their ages and stages of development.

Tue, 02 Dec, 2025

Girl looking in car rear view mirror

Joanna Fortune: My teen wants to learn how to drive but I think it's a bad idea

Knowing when to step back and let our teens be more independent is not always an easy call to make

Tue, 18 Nov, 2025

Christmas Stars, Baubles and Gold Ribbons (XXL)

Joanna Fortune: My mother-in-law insists on celebrating Christmas early

"You need to hold your boundaries and pick your battles. This time of year is exciting for children, as your mother-in-law says, but I also see every day how utterly overstimulating this season can be for them."

Wed, 12 Nov, 2025

Little Mama

Joanna Fortune: How do I help my little girl adjust to a new sibling?

All you can do is stay in the present moment and adapt to however your little one reacts in the moment

Tue, 04 Nov, 2025

Funny happy Dog

Joanna Fortune: My family want to get a puppy but I'm not so sure

You all need to be in the right place to welcome a new family member and it is OK if you don’t feel that you have the capacity to take on any more right now

Tue, 28 Oct, 2025

Redhead teenage boy playing video games, celebrating win in the game

Joanna Fortune: My quiet teenager swears when gaming with friends — is this normal behaviour?

As best you can, set limits and hold boundaries with him in a collaborative, rather than combative, way

Tue, 21 Oct, 2025

Portrait of two sisters kids having an argument, fighting. Family conflict, children In Quarrel, disagreement

Joanna Fortune: My young daughters argue all the time

"Both are in the middle childhood phase (eight to 12 years), meaning they are competitors within the same developmental stage, which can lead to the type of tension you describe."

Tue, 14 Oct, 2025

Father and daughter fight, generation gap concept

Joanna Fortune: My children have been caught up in family row with grandparents

My mum usually picks up my two children from school once a week, but says she won't do so until I apologise for my behaviour. I'm hurt that she has taken sides and is using childcare as a form of leverage.

Tue, 07 Oct, 2025

Adorable caucasian girl playing with telephone toy sitting on floor at kindergarten

Joanna Fortune: My four-year-old doesn't want to share her toys

Her only-child status may be more ‘correlation over causation’ when it comes to her struggles. Many solo-children can turn-take and share, and many sibling-children will struggle just as you describe.

Tue, 23 Sep, 2025

Little boy reading a book in green armchair

Joanna Fortune: My child is struggling with reading in class

Reading is nurtured and developed in school from ages five to eight years (and beyond, of course), which means your son is still very much in the 'learning to read' (and specifically learning to read with fluency) phase of his education.

Tue, 16 Sep, 2025

Low angle view of pensive little girl in pajamas looking away at home

Joanna Fortune: What happened to my sweet little girl?

"So much is written and said about the critical early years of our children’s lives, and again when they reach those tricky teenage years, but very little attention is given to the middle stage of childhood, the years between eight and 12."

Tue, 09 Sep, 2025

Football concept

Joanna Fortune: My son has stopped playing football since he was called 'crap' by a friend

Since then, he has become very withdrawn and finds it hard to go outside even to play with friends, as he doesn’t feel good enough now

Tue, 02 Sep, 2025

Sad little boy in red soccer jersey seated on bench

Joanna Fortune: My son is being left on the bench during matches

You could talk to the coach about your concerns in a calm way, without venting. The coach could clarify the club’s structure, focus, and goals for the team, enabling you to make an informed decision about whether your son should stay.

Tue, 26 Aug, 2025

Young family having fun outdoors

Joanna Fortune: How do we explain to our young children that daddy is out of work?

"The best thing you can do for your children in the meantime is to take care of yourselves and each other. Focus on maintaining open communication and connection, and ensure you have a support system you can activate for yourselves: Friends, family, professional therapy, etc."

Tue, 19 Aug, 2025

Mother comforting her crying little girl. Parenthood, family, support concept

Joanna Fortune: A trial visit to playschool didn't go well, I'm dreading the real thing in September

My three-year-old daughter is very attached to me. She's an only child, and we do almost everything together. She got distressed when I attempted to leave her at playschool in June, so I stayed with her. What would you advise?

Tue, 12 Aug, 2025

Playing on a Video Game

Joanna Fortune: My son lost contact with his pals when he quit the local football team

I've suggested taking up a new sport, but he says he's not interested. What would you suggest?

Tue, 05 Aug, 2025

Loving mother hugging, comforting little daughter, enjoying tender moment

Joanna Fortune: How do I reassure my clingy child that I'm going to come back every time?

She now has a meltdown nearly every time I attempt to leave her behind with her dad or babysitter

Tue, 29 Jul, 2025

Portrait of sad offended teen boy having offended facial expression, isolated on gray background, wearing in casual clothes

Joanna Fortune: My son was spoiled while on holidays with a friend's well-off family

"You probably know that feeling when you come home from a brilliant holiday and everything at home feels anti-climactic and dull in comparison to the experiences you’ve had on holiday. It’s often referred to as “post-holiday blues”."

Tue, 22 Jul, 2025

Having so much fun under the sun

Joanna Fortune: I'm worried about my parents-in-law going on holiday with us — what should I do?

Arrange a big family day out and perhaps an evening or two when you and your partner can spend quality time together, connecting, sightseeing, or relaxing

Tue, 15 Jul, 2025

Head And Shoulders Portrait Of Serious Teenage Boy

Joanna Fortune: My teenager doesn't want to get a summer job

"When talking with our teenagers, try to follow the mantra ‘your toes follow your nose’. Ensure that you turn fully to face them when speaking, giving them your full attention for a few moments."

Tue, 01 Jul, 2025

mean glare

Joanna Fortune: My daughters are constantly arguing with each other

Around adolescence, children increasingly pull away from their family as their primary hub of emotional and social development, and lean more on peers. This phase does not mean parents should also pull back — we need to be visible and available to our teenage children

Tue, 24 Jun, 2025

Slime

Joanna Fortune: Does my anxious child need professional help?

Your first step is to take time to reflect on his anxiety. How long has he been experiencing it? Do you know what might have triggered it? It is OK if you do not know the answers, as his behaviour can still be addressed without identifying the root cause

Tue, 17 Jun, 2025

depressed, sad, lonely boy sitting on floor

Joanna Fortune: My husband and I have different parenting styles - how do we work on this?

It should be possible to discuss your different approaches to parenting as a conversation, but if it becomes heated, decide who will speak first (by flipping a coin) and agree that each of you will have five uninterrupted minutes on the matter

Tue, 10 Jun, 2025

Cheerful and excited toddler with her coffer on a airport

Joanna Fortune: How can I control my young children on their first flight?

I’m already dreading the trip. What would you suggest?

Tue, 03 Jun, 2025

Sad little girl

Joanna Fortune: My grandchild gets upset when it's time to leave the playground

Transitions are not easy for young children to manage, so they often struggle with ending one fun task (playing on the playground) and doing something not so fun (going home for lunch/nap, etc)

Tue, 27 May, 2025

Labrador Puppy

Joanna Fortune: My children refuse to help look after our new puppy

This new puppy is a new baby of sorts in your family, and like any new baby, it is taking up a lot of your time, attention, and energy

Tue, 20 May, 2025

Sneaky Snacks

Joanna Fortune: I'm worried about bringing my noisy children to wedding

Weddings can be overwhelming for children. A big part of what makes them and similar events so difficult for them is that the day starts early with much waiting and sitting around

Tue, 13 May, 2025

Jumping in the sea waves on the beach

Joanna Fortune: My child hates going to the beach — I need a solution that works for both of us

Your son might never love being at the beach, but you can slowly, respectfully, and with play start to make it more tolerable

Tue, 06 May, 2025

Outdoors portrait of 15 year old blonde teen girl with long hair in white t-shirt

Joanna Fortune: My daughter is struggling to make friends — what can I do to help?

Friendship is such a big part of life that when it proves difficult for us, it can overwhelm everything that is going well in our lives

Tue, 29 Apr, 2025

Mother and daughter using a digital tablet together

Joanna Fortune: My daughter is struggling with reading in senior infants

If you push reading too hard and too soon at home, you could inadvertently turn your daughter off reading

Tue, 15 Apr, 2025

Teen student sitting by red lockers, wearing casual clothes.

Joanna Fortune: My teen son finds it difficult to make friends — how do I advise him?

I wonder if he is a bit intolerant of others' shortcomings or just not confident in himself. How can I assist, advise or guide him through his difficulties?

Tue, 08 Apr, 2025

woman washing hands with soap have foam

Joanna Fortune: My quiet teenager keeps washing her hands repeatedly

Child psychotherapist Dr Joanna Fortune

Tue, 01 Apr, 2025

Scouts Unity

Joanna Fortune: My son wants to leave the Scouts, should I insist he stays?

I'd love him to stay as he's made great friends in his group and it has helped build his confidence. Should I insist he keeps going or accept his decision?

Tue, 25 Mar, 2025

girl and her grandmother enjoying sunny morning

Joanna Fortune: My granddaughter doesn't want to share me with her baby sister

My older granddaughter gets upset almost every time I pick up the baby

Tue, 18 Mar, 2025

Clean Your Room!

Joanna Fortune: How can I make my messy teen clean their bedroom?

When maintaining his space, manage your expectations and standards and adopt a 'good enough is good enough' mindset. Clean enough is clean enough

Tue, 11 Mar, 2025

Joanna Fortune: I worry about anxiety when leaving my 10-month-old at creche

Joanna Fortune: I worry about anxiety when leaving my 10-month-old at creche

Whatever your childcare choice, you are leaving your baby with someone else, which requires trust. This is particularly challenging when you've yet to build a relationship with the minders who will care for your baby

Tue, 04 Mar, 2025

Young girl is whispered about in the school playground

Joanna Fortune: My daughter is being excluded by her friends

"Children’s friendships evolve between the ages of nine and 12, when we tend to see an increased emphasis on the “best friends” group, especially among girls."

Tue, 25 Feb, 2025

Serious, sad teen boy with crossed arms looking away on copy space, standing on blue background

Joanna Fortune: Should we be concerned about our teenage son's aggressive outbursts?

"...the task of adolescence is to pull away from our parents and find our voice and identity in the world. Because of the intense change, teenagers do not always handle this with grace..."

Tue, 18 Feb, 2025

Teenager using Smartphone at Home

Joanna Fortune: My teen goes to bed late and then spends half the day in bed

He finds it difficult to get out of bed in the morning for school — I've tried talking to him but I'm not getting through

Tue, 11 Feb, 2025

little girl pulls her older sister hair

Joanna Fortune: My baby keeps pulling other people's hair

I don’t know how to react when she hurts other children

Tue, 04 Feb, 2025

Annoyed selfish young woman ignoring unhappy mature mother after quarrel

Joanna Fortune: My daughter says I don't love her in the same way as her sister

I appreciate how hurtful it can be to be told that all you have done for your family is still not enough

Tue, 28 Jan, 2025

Cell phone break up

Joanna Fortune: My quiet teenage daughter is lonely and feels isolated at school

School is such a big part of our children’s days that when it is not going well for them, it can seem like there is no escape from the stress they are experiencing

Tue, 21 Jan, 2025

Sleepy little boys eating breakfast cereal

Joanna Fortune: So hard to get back in the swing of early starts in January

Suggest that each child do something to make mornings easier. One of them can lay the table for breakfast the night before. Another can arrange everyone’s shoes and coats close to the door so they are ready to go. They can each lay out their uniforms the night before and put their school bags by the wall so no one is looking for anything when they are in a rush

Tue, 14 Jan, 2025

Lonely senior woman sitting on sofa indoors at Christmas, solitude concept.

Joanna Fortune: My adult children left me to do almost everything on Christmas Day

They left everything up to me, including keeping an eye on their children

Tue, 07 Jan, 2025