Dear Daithi - Irish Examiner

Agony uncle Dáithí Ó Sé is here to answer your questions.

<p>Meanwhile, I’m here in my post-summer daze, staring at a mountain of laundry and wondering if it’s too early to go back to bed. The truth is, I’m wrecked.</p>

columnists

Dear Dáithí: How can I break out of this post-summer malaise?

"There is nothing worse in this world than when someone is telling you what to do, and phrases like “start fresh” is some kind of Americanism that has made its way into Irish life and all it does is pour fuel onto the fire."

Dear Dáithí: It’s my daughter’s first day of school — and I’m terrified

Dear Dáithí: My mother-in-law refuses to help with our new baby — she won't even throw a wash on

Dear Dáithí: My brother has stopped visiting our elderly mother and I'm picking up the slack

Dear Dáithí: Should I tell my son they are wrong to pay my grandchild to do household chores?

people

Dear Dáithí: My daughters are upset I want my new partner to move into the family home

Dear Dáithí: My brother died in an accident and I'm not coping with the loss

"I’m going to tell you something now and, if the same was told to me in 2002 when my sister died, I wouldn’t have believed it, and you might think the same way now. It does get easier, and you will get through this."

Sun, 10 Aug, 2025

alone woman sitting next to her lover's empty chair

Dear Dáithí: I lost the love of my life, and now I feel like I'm living half a life

"I often speak to people who have lost a husband or wife who have been married for a long time and there is always a feeling that they are betraying their partners if they move left or right, and this is never the real case"

Sun, 03 Aug, 2025

Mid-Adult Man Receiving A Surprising Text Message On His Phone In The Bed At Night

Dear Dáithí: 'We have screen time limits for our daughter — should we do the same thing for her dad?'

'I’m worried about how much time my husband spends on his phone, it seems like it’s glued to his hand 24/7. When our alarm goes off in the morning he’s already scrolling through social media'

Mon, 28 Jul, 2025

Worried man checking bills and looking at financial analysis of expenses at home.

Dear Dáithí: Am I wasting my summer by saving money and not going on holiday or to concerts?

I feel left behind while others are living it up

Mon, 21 Jul, 2025

Sad young girl feeling lonely sit alone in coffee shop

Dear Dáithí: My future in-laws are freezing me out — what should I do?

"It’s easy to see where the conflict is coming from on your side. You’ve been placed outside the gang by his family — they are treating you unfairly, they don’t see you on the same level, and an uncertainty has been cast over you by them."

Sun, 13 Jul, 2025

Dear Dáithí: I have a life-changing disease, but I don't want to tell my family

"I think you should pick a day and time and go for it. You probably know yourself which one of them to call, just do it."

Mon, 07 Jul, 2025

Dear Dáithí: My teenager is using new pronouns — how can I be supportive?

"...we must be there for our children. I know a lot of people think that this is some kind of fad, or young people trying to be different, and will eventually go away. It won’t, and we need to deal with it."

Mon, 30 Jun, 2025

Displeased parents arguing while paying their bills over laptop at home.

Dear Dáithí: We're clashing on how to raise our daughter — I don't want to be the bad cop all the time

I do not want my child growing up in a broken home and I'm trying to walk the line between keeping my partner happy and not compromising on my own ideals

Mon, 23 Jun, 2025

Young Couple Arguing and Fighting. Domestic Violence Scene of Emotional abuse, Stressed Woman and aggressive Man Having Almost V

Dear Dáithí: My perfect girlfriend is horrible to me behind closed doors

We’ve built a life together, but I don’t feel I can relax or be myself around her, like I need to improve on everything. I keep hoping things will get better, but they don’t. How do you know when it’s time to stop trying — and start walking away?

Mon, 16 Jun, 2025

Mature couple fighting at home sitting on the sofa.

Dear Dáithí: I'm 50, I feel invisible and stuck. What can I do to start loving life again?

You and your husband get on fine, but the spark has gone. After getting everyone else sorted, that is a good place to be. I know people who are at this stage and are ready to go in different directions and can’t stand the sight of each other

Mon, 02 Jun, 2025

Dear Dáithí: 'How do I get my son and his family to move from America back to Ireland?'

I just can’t ignore the fear in my heart. Am I being too dramatic?

Mon, 12 May, 2025

Dear Dáithí: I want holidays to be just for us — not the in-laws

You need this time to relax and get away from everyday life — and you don’t want tantrums ruining your buzz

Mon, 05 May, 2025

Dear Dáithí: My best friend has gone back to her cheater of a boyfriend and I'm furious

People don’t change without real effort and accountability, and if she’s saying he has changed, she may be too close to the situation to see clearly

Mon, 21 Apr, 2025

Dear Dáithí: Should I let my absent father walk me down the aisle on my wedding day?

Your father believes this role belongs to him, but in this case, it doesn’t. You’ll need to make that clear

Mon, 07 Apr, 2025

Dear Dáithí: ‘My paranoid partner calls me names in front of the children’

I think it is so important that children today have good, strong male role models, and what I’m seeing and hearing here is the very opposite

Mon, 31 Mar, 2025

Dear Dáithí: Am I super-intolerant now or is my co-worker the worst?

It reminds me of a person who brought fish to work and stunk the place out cooking it during the day. I’d no problem with this person getting their omega 3s, but you need to clean up properly after yourself.

Mon, 24 Mar, 2025

Dear Dáithí: 'My neighbour hurts me deeply with her 'jokes' and I've had enough'

Dear Dáithí: I've nothing in common with the other parents — except kids

"For example, we spent over an hour at a coffee shop recently talking about a new kitchen. There’s a genocide happening in real time, that I can’t sleep over, but please tell me what tiles you’re picking out."

Sun, 02 Mar, 2025

Dear Dáithí: I've given up drink and my boyfriend and friends are giving me grief over it

"...I too have continued dry January into this month and am feeling great. My friends are saying the same thing to me but in a very jokey way and thankfully it has stayed jokey for me, but I think the jokes for you are long gone."

Mon, 24 Feb, 2025

Dear Dáithí: 'My neighbour hurts me deeply with her 'jokes' and I've had enough'

"Being a quiet, polite shy person is who you are and you should never lower your standards for others especially when their values don’t come close to yours."

Mon, 17 Feb, 2025

Dear Dáithí: I'm a new dad — and I feel like my friends have abandoned me

"A lot of people, not only men, bury their head in the sand, hoping that something like this will go away, but it also rarely does until you do something about it and take action."

Mon, 10 Feb, 2025

Dear Dáithí: My sister has decided I'm minding our aging mother - without consulting me

In any situation in life no matter what it is if you focus on problems, you will find more problems and it’s the same with solutions, so we focus on solutions

Mon, 27 Jan, 2025

Dear Dáithí: I'm losing my son to a controlling girlfriend

Dear Dáithí: 'My grandchildren live overseas, and my heart is broken from missing them'

"I do think it's time to have a chat as a family, because the family are scattered all over - ye could put a plan together that sometimes they visit you at different times of the year. This will give you time with all the different people, especially the children."

Mon, 20 Jan, 2025

Dear Dáithí: I'm losing my son to a controlling girlfriend

"She has him eating well, working out and off the drink. I think you should ask him how he is feeling these days."

Mon, 13 Jan, 2025

Dear Dáithí: My husband is forcing my daughter to take part in sports, but she hates them

"Your husband is a coach and I’m sure he sees the benefits of sports and I know it’s especially hard to keep young girls involved in sports and I agree with him that it is very important, but at what cost?"

Mon, 06 Jan, 2025

Dear Dáithí: 'My wife is mad because I'm texting a female co-worker - but it's completely innocent'

'I feel it shouldn't matter what gender my friend is, and my wife is being ridiculous. I think she's taking her feelings of frustration out on me - unfairly.'

Tue, 24 Dec, 2024

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