Dear Dáithí: My 'nightmare' housemate pees on the toilet seat and doesn’t clean it up

"If you go to court over a guy peeing on the toilet seat, they will tell you to go home."

Dear Dáithí,

I live in a shared property with three others. I get along just fine with two of them, but one is a nightmare.

I feel he is jeopardising the hygiene of the house. He pees on the toilet seat and doesn’t clean it.

He brings people to the house at various hours of the day, and we suspect some illicit activity.

He has been caught smoking between the porch and the entrance door (the house is a non-smoking house) because it was either too windy or too rainy.

He’s been repeatedly asked to lower the volume of his alarm as he wakes everybody up with it in the morning, as well as being asked to be a little bit quieter around the house. But he seems not to care at all. He sometimes puts on washes after 11pm when the whole house is quiet or stomps up and down the house like a horse.

He has also been repeatedly asked not to throw water on the floor in the bathroom when cleaning it, as he once flooded the bathroom.

The landlord has been informed of most of those things.

I understand the easiest thing would be to move, but I have signed a contract that gives me obligations.

I’ve thought about pursuing legal action.

Is there anything else that can be done?

It sounds like you are not living in this house at all, only existing, and that is no way to live. You work too hard, and life is also too short.

There are two things you can do, either say nothing and nothing changes, or push back against this and see where it goes. The second option is your only option if you want to stay in the house, and it sounds like you do, as you really get on with the other two.

Also, let’s be honest, it’s very hard to find a place to rent these days.

Now you have thought of legal action, knock that on the head; it will get you nowhere. If you go to court over a guy peeing on the toilet seat, they will tell you to go home.

What you should do is check out RTB.ie. They will tell you exactly what you’re entitled to and what should and should not be happening when it comes to sharing a house with others.

You have taken the first and correct step in calling the landlord. Because you all rent individually, I think it is up to them to sort this. The peeing on the seat won’t be his/her problem, but the smoking and having friends back late at night should not be happening. I’m sure if you check the rule book, these might be violations, but again, it’s up to the landlord to go to this guy and sit him down and go through the rules. I think it’s important to remember that the vast majority of landlords are good people.

One of the most important things for them is that their tenants are happy, because then they don’t bother the landlord and they are left alone!

He or she will want this sorted ASAP and to get on with their life. Now that’s only one part of this.

You say you get on great with the other two people. You should speak to them and see if they are having the same problem as you.

With four people in one house, they could well be in the same boat as you, but you need to find out because people are different.

I remember living in a house years ago, and just like your situation, there was a girl who had a very loud morning alarm that went off at 6am every day. I didn’t like it, but the other lads in the house didn’t mind it and slept through it. What I did one time, and I DON’T want you to do this, is when her alarm was going off, and she was away, I went in and pulled the plug out of the wall. She was there the next morning, and all I could hear was her shouting: ‘I’m late, I’m late my alarm never went off’’. It was worse than any clock alarm.

There is no point in trying to confront this guy again about the situation.

First of all, you’d be wasting your time. He didn’t listen to you the first time, and nothing has changed, and if you do and drive the boot in more, it’s only going to upset the whole house.

You described this guy as a nightmare, and the main thing about a nightmare is to wake up and get as far away as possible from it. Nobody wants to live like this.

It’s no harm to keep an eye out for other places. It doesn’t mean you are going to move, but don’t get caught on the hop; this is the Kerry coming out in me.