Dear Daithi - Irish Examiner

Agony uncle Dáithí Ó Sé is here to answer your questions.

<p>'I'm sick of seeing unprofessional workers in shops. So, I switch to online shopping — which invariably means some part of my order is wrong or not delivered. So then I'm dealing with idiotic chatbots that don't answer my actual question. And then I get bombarded with pop-up questionnaires asking if I'm happy with the service.'</p>

columnists

Dear Dáithí: Is bad service just the standard these days?

I'm talking about people who seem to delight in doing a shoddy or lazy job. Whether it's businesses not answering the phone after lunch on a Friday or people who just thrive on using rules or GDPR to tell you why they can't do something really simple

<p>Dear Dáithí: "My beautiful granddaughter seems to want nothing to do with any of us anymore. She doesn't call to me or any of the aunties or even her own mum. I don't want to start an argument with her by telling her how much pain she is causing us all, but I do keep having these imaginary conversations in my head where I lay it all out and get her to see sense."</p>

people

Dear Daithí: Our granddaughter’s new life has left us, her family, behind

<p>Dear Dáithí: "Should we just bite the bullet and say he's not driving any more, or how can we get him to take things down a level or two — for his sake and ours?"</p>

people

Dear Dáithí: Should we tell my dad he’s not driving any more?

people

Dear Dáithí: My husband acts like I'm a dangerous driver

Dear Dáithí: My brother thinks his presence is our real present every Christmas

people

Dear Dáithí: I get on better with one of my children. Am I in danger of making the others feel left out?

Woman, sad and thinking on sofa by Christmas tree, trauma or bad memory with headache in home. Mature person, depression and lon

Dear Dáithí: I'll need to clone myself to cope with Christmas 'fun' without burning out

The house is full of gift sets, and boxes of chocolates squirrelled away for unexpected guests, and there are boxes of biscuits and festive drinks in the most random places

Mon, 17 Nov, 2025

Couple not speaking after an argument on the couch

Dear Dáithí: My stressed husband is overeating and cranky — can we get back on the right track?

We don't have children; the plan was to get our careers to the right place and then start a family. The way things are going, that's never going to happen. Do you have any advice?

Mon, 10 Nov, 2025

Shot of an old man looking angrily at the camera in a studio against a grey background

Dear Dáithí: Our elderly neighbour is making our life a misery

We love our house and our community, and we’d rather solve this with kindness than confrontation, but we’re running out of patience and ideas

Mon, 03 Nov, 2025

Teenager looking down while sharing problems with his girlfriend

Dear Dáithí: My teenage son feels left out of the new family dynamic

"Your teenage boy needs to know that his mother, more than anyone else in this house, has his back"

Mon, 27 Oct, 2025

Band-aid covering a heart on a blue wooden background

Dear Dáithí: I might have another chance at love after grief — how do I take it?

"I was really happy to see your letter coming in this week, and the reason why is that I think there are lots of people like you who are in this position and afraid to even think about moving on, not to mind actually doing something about it."

Mon, 20 Oct, 2025

A Senior Hispanic Silver Haired Lady is Given a Hug by Her Niece. A Moment of Latin Togetherness.

Dear Dáithí: I love my niece, but it hurts to be left out of her wedding

I can’t help feeling so hurt that she is not including me, I feel like all that investment I put into her growing up means nothing to her

Mon, 13 Oct, 2025

Mom and daughter standing back to back with serious look

Dear Dáithí: Should we charge our daughters rent?

"It’s called ‘Ó’Sé theory of get off your arse’ and it goes like this, study + part-time job + housework = happy parents."

Mon, 06 Oct, 2025

Female worker stops conflict between two angry male employees. Stress, emotions management at work. Conflict situation

Dear Dáithí: I was dragged into a witch-hunt — how can I make it right?

I can’t apologise publicly without causing conflict locally, but keeping quiet is eating away at me. What should I do?

Mon, 29 Sep, 2025

Dear Dáithí: I feel strangely distant from my husband, how can we reconnect?

It’s as if we’ve been running parallel lives under the same roof.

Sun, 21 Sep, 2025

Dear Dáithí: How can I break out of this post-summer malaise?

"There is nothing worse in this world than when someone is telling you what to do, and phrases like “start fresh” is some kind of Americanism that has made its way into Irish life and all it does is pour fuel onto the fire."

Sun, 14 Sep, 2025

Dear Dáithí: It’s my daughter’s first day of school — and I’m terrified

Every parent will empathise with you, but you’re at a stage now where you must look at the big picture for her and, indeed, for yourself.

Mon, 08 Sep, 2025

Dear Dáithí: My mother-in-law refuses to help with our new baby — she won't even throw a wash on

At the moment, your mother-in-law is semi-retired and is very fit and active, and by the sounds of it, she wants to stay like this and let nothing get in the way.

Mon, 01 Sep, 2025

Photo of two best friends dissatisfied argue conflict problem relationship no support misunderstanding folded hands isolated on

Dear Dáithí: My brother has stopped visiting our elderly mother and I'm picking up the slack

"I think it’s very tough when children have to mind their parents, especially from a young enough age. It’s nobody’s fault, nobody plans it like this, it just happens. When it does, somebody has to be there."

Mon, 25 Aug, 2025

Dear Dáithí: Should I tell my son they are wrong to pay my grandchild to do household chores?

I don’t agree with giving money for chores. I’m of the ‘you don’t pay rent here or you’re doing something in return’ brigade, and I know many like me.

Sun, 17 Aug, 2025

Dear Dáithí: My daughters are upset I want my new partner to move into the family home

My wife passed away 10 years ago and I recently met a very nice lady through a walking club

Thu, 14 Aug, 2025

Dear Dáithí: My brother died in an accident and I'm not coping with the loss

"I’m going to tell you something now and, if the same was told to me in 2002 when my sister died, I wouldn’t have believed it, and you might think the same way now. It does get easier, and you will get through this."

Sun, 10 Aug, 2025

alone woman sitting next to her lover's empty chair

Dear Dáithí: I lost the love of my life, and now I feel like I'm living half a life

"I often speak to people who have lost a husband or wife who have been married for a long time and there is always a feeling that they are betraying their partners if they move left or right, and this is never the real case"

Sun, 03 Aug, 2025

Mid-Adult Man Receiving A Surprising Text Message On His Phone In The Bed At Night

Dear Dáithí: 'We have screen time limits for our daughter — should we do the same thing for her dad?'

'I’m worried about how much time my husband spends on his phone, it seems like it’s glued to his hand 24/7. When our alarm goes off in the morning he’s already scrolling through social media'

Mon, 28 Jul, 2025

Worried man checking bills and looking at financial analysis of expenses at home.

Dear Dáithí: Am I wasting my summer by saving money and not going on holiday or to concerts?

I feel left behind while others are living it up

Mon, 21 Jul, 2025

Sad young girl feeling lonely sit alone in coffee shop

Dear Dáithí: My future in-laws are freezing me out — what should I do?

"It’s easy to see where the conflict is coming from on your side. You’ve been placed outside the gang by his family — they are treating you unfairly, they don’t see you on the same level, and an uncertainty has been cast over you by them."

Sun, 13 Jul, 2025

Dear Dáithí: I have a life-changing disease, but I don't want to tell my family

"I think you should pick a day and time and go for it. You probably know yourself which one of them to call, just do it."

Mon, 07 Jul, 2025

Dear Dáithí: My teenager is using new pronouns — how can I be supportive?

"...we must be there for our children. I know a lot of people think that this is some kind of fad, or young people trying to be different, and will eventually go away. It won’t, and we need to deal with it."

Mon, 30 Jun, 2025

Displeased parents arguing while paying their bills over laptop at home.

Dear Dáithí: We're clashing on how to raise our daughter — I don't want to be the bad cop all the time

I do not want my child growing up in a broken home and I'm trying to walk the line between keeping my partner happy and not compromising on my own ideals

Mon, 23 Jun, 2025

Young Couple Arguing and Fighting. Domestic Violence Scene of Emotional abuse, Stressed Woman and aggressive Man Having Almost V

Dear Dáithí: My perfect girlfriend is horrible to me behind closed doors

We’ve built a life together, but I don’t feel I can relax or be myself around her, like I need to improve on everything. I keep hoping things will get better, but they don’t. How do you know when it’s time to stop trying — and start walking away?

Mon, 16 Jun, 2025

Mature couple fighting at home sitting on the sofa.

Dear Dáithí: I'm 50, I feel invisible and stuck. What can I do to start loving life again?

You and your husband get on fine, but the spark has gone. After getting everyone else sorted, that is a good place to be. I know people who are at this stage and are ready to go in different directions and can’t stand the sight of each other

Mon, 02 Jun, 2025

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Dear Dáithí: Is bad service just the standard these days?

Dear Daithí: Our granddaughter’s new life has left us, her family, behind

Dear Dáithí: Should we tell my dad he’s not driving any more?

Dear Dáithí: My husband acts like I'm a dangerous driver

Dear Dáithí: My brother thinks his presence is our real present every Christmas

Dear Dáithí: I get on better with one of my children. Am I in danger of making the others feel left out?

Dear Dáithí: I'll need to clone myself to cope with Christmas 'fun' without burning out

Dear Dáithí: My stressed husband is overeating and cranky — can we get back on the right track?

Dear Dáithí: Our elderly neighbour is making our life a misery

Dear Dáithí: My teenage son feels left out of the new family dynamic

Dear Dáithí: I might have another chance at love after grief — how do I take it?

Dear Dáithí: I love my niece, but it hurts to be left out of her wedding

Dear Dáithí: Should we charge our daughters rent?

Dear Dáithí: I was dragged into a witch-hunt — how can I make it right?

Dear Dáithí: I feel strangely distant from my husband, how can we reconnect?

Dear Dáithí: How can I break out of this post-summer malaise?

Dear Dáithí: It’s my daughter’s first day of school — and I’m terrified

Dear Dáithí: My mother-in-law refuses to help with our new baby — she won't even throw a wash on

Dear Dáithí: My brother has stopped visiting our elderly mother and I'm picking up the slack

Dear Dáithí: Should I tell my son they are wrong to pay my grandchild to do household chores?

Dear Dáithí: My daughters are upset I want my new partner to move into the family home

Dear Dáithí: My brother died in an accident and I'm not coping with the loss

Dear Dáithí: I lost the love of my life, and now I feel like I'm living half a life

Dear Dáithí: 'We have screen time limits for our daughter — should we do the same thing for her dad?'

Dear Dáithí: Am I wasting my summer by saving money and not going on holiday or to concerts?

Dear Dáithí: My future in-laws are freezing me out — what should I do?

Dear Dáithí: I have a life-changing disease, but I don't want to tell my family

Dear Dáithí: My teenager is using new pronouns — how can I be supportive?

Dear Dáithí: We're clashing on how to raise our daughter — I don't want to be the bad cop all the time

Dear Dáithí: My perfect girlfriend is horrible to me behind closed doors

Dear Dáithí: I'm 50, I feel invisible and stuck. What can I do to start loving life again?

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