Sex File: He wants to have sex on a speedboat 

My partner wants to hire a boat and have sex on it out at sea when we're on holiday.

My partner wants to hire a boat (we're talking about a little speedboat, not a yacht - there are no rooms) and have sex on it out at sea when we're on holiday. To me, it just sounds uncomfortable. I'd be nervous about being seen and it's like novelty for novelty's sake. How can we compromise?

I don't think you will need to. Unless you win the lottery and buy your own superyacht, having sex at sea is very unlikely to be an option for you both. 

I've just come back from Greece where we took a little put-put boat out and I can confirm that as we motored our way around the islands off the coast of Thessaloniki, we were never alone, not once. 

Unless your partner has exhibitionist tendencies, his plan is unlikely to come to pass. In his fantasy there are just the two of you and the deep blue sea. In reality, taking a little boat out is such a popular holiday activity that there is often more traffic on the sea than there is on the roads.

You don't necessarily need to explain all of this to him right now because he will work it out when he tries to rent a boat. Until then, let him enjoy the sense of anticipation because research confirms that thinking about future happiness helps people to feel happier in the present moment. 

People tend to experience much more intense emotions when they think about future events than about those that took place in the past. They are also much more likely to talk about things they are planning to do, rather than things they have already done. In this particular context, imagining what it would be like to have sex on a boat under the hot sun and talking about it in detail with you is giving him a thrill, so just go with that. 

Your concerns about it being uncomfortable and risky are legitimate, but unnecessary, because it won't happen.

He will get over his disappointment pretty quickly because you'll almost certainly be having way more sex than you do at home. 

When there is literally nothing else to do other than lie around, get hot and take the occasional swim, sex has a way of creeping into your brain in a way it doesn't when you are juggling the perils of public transport and a full-time job. 

Whether it is the fact that there is so much skin on show or the sensuousness of sun cream being rubbed into your warm tanned skin, or even just the absence of distraction - if two people like each other, their sexual frequency will increase significantly during a summer break. 

Hotel-room sex is always more luxurious because the linen is crisp and clean, but you can also explore ways to enjoy sex outside. Be mindful of local customs and don't trespass, but in Greece, for example, there are lots of tiny coves where one could have a private tryst after sunset.

The main challenge for couples is finding a way to keep the love alive when they get back to the daily grind. Carving out time for each other is the only way to do that. You won't manage it every weekend but clearing your schedules on a weekend morning once a month and committing to stay in bed till lunchtime is an indulgence, but it absolutely ensures a morning of lengthy lovemaking. No phones. No papers. 

You must ignore the temptation to 'do' anything other than enjoy each other's company and be intimate.

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