Porno for the politicos means real issues go unseen

TDs pored over and passed around the glossy fold-out maps of the redrawn boundaries like pre-internet era schoolboys used to do with soft porn pictures as they pointed excitedly at the enticing and exotic curves of the new constituencies.

The reaction to the ripping up of the old order ranged from the smug (“Wicklow is safe”) to the relieved (“I can cancel the leaving party”) to the despairing (“that’s me fucked, so”).

The Constituency Commission report had been released just before leaders’ questions began, so the only question the deputies present in the chamber had on their minds was: “Me! Me! Me! Am I safe?”