Dear Dáithí: How do I motivate myself to lose the baby weight?

I go into a diet and weight loss mind set every year for the summer to get in shape for the Rose of Tralee. I swear every year that I won’t go back to my old ways, and I do if I’m being honest.

Baby weight or any type of weight can be very hard to move, says Dáithí Ó Sé. Picture: Domnick Walsh

Tue, 26 Dec, 2023 - 12:10

Daithi Ó Sé

Dear Dáithí,

I have been overweight since I had my baby two and a half years ago. I’m talking about losing it all the time, but I don’t think I can still call it baby weight! I’ve tried a couple of different programmes, they work for a while, and then I slip back into my old habits. But I’m now heavier than I’ve ever been, even when I was pregnant, I don’t recognise myself. I’m busy enough, I work, and am a mammy of course, the best job of all!! My partner works in a job that means he’s based in Rio and gets home every 6 to 8 weeks, so I’m at home in the evenings on my own a good bit. The baby is in bed, I’m not going to go out for a walk and leave him on his own, so I usually end up eating in front of the TV.

My father was recently diagnosed with dementia so I’m trying to help my mother out there too. I gave myself an ultimatum of New Year’s Day 2024 - I’m going to start then. I don’t want to waste money on another slimming group that might not work, but I don’t know if I can do it by myself. How do I motivate myself? Because I really want to be down at least a stone for when my husband comes home at the end of January! I want to be fit for my baby too!

You seem to have a lot going on in your life and for the most part you are doing this alone. That can be a tough and lonely place to be, especially with a two and half year old who of course is the centre of your universe and rightly so.

Baby weight or any type of weight can be very hard to move. I know I go into a diet and weight loss mind set every year for the summer to get in shape for the Rose of Tralee. I swear every year that I won’t go back to my old ways, but I do, if I’m being honest.

I have gotten better and usually check myself and straighten my cart before the really damage is done. It does take a good bit of discipline and I really needed to work on that and still do.

First thing I think you need to do is break the current cycle that you’re in. Cycles as we know go round and round, we need to stop this. The good news is that you’ve taken the first step by acknowledging that this is an issue and a problem.

Next, we need to identify where you are and why you slip back into the old habits, what are these habits? What do they look like? When do they happen is always an interesting question. You spend a lot of time alone because your partner works away a lot, food can be very comforting, and we all eat way too much while watching the TV and this can turn into a routine and a cycle if you like. So, when you know what these triggers are you should change them and see how you get on.

When the baby is asleep is a good time to be active, you can’t leave the house obviously, but you can get a treadmill. You can get them cheap enough these days. You need to be proactive.

In one sense we need to set goals for yourself and at the same time reset the clock. By the way you’re not alone here. I know loads of people who are the same boat, and not only do they have to reset and set goals once, but it must also be done on a regular basis, again this is normal.

The thing about goals is that they must be realistic because if they are too big, they can be overwhelming and too small they will not meet your needs, so you really need to think about them and most importantly stick to them. You need to check on them on weekly basis to make sure you’re sticking to them and codding no one. Yourself especially!

I’m sorry to hear your dad has dementia, this can be tough on everyone. You’re a mighty woman making sure your mother is being helped out, but you need to mind out for yourself too, people feel that they are being selfish about putting time aside for themselves especially when someone in the family is unwell.

The truth is you need to take care of yourself because if you don’t, you yourself might start to feel rundown etc. the best way you can help your mom is to be fit and in a good place yourself, so there is one of the motivations to lose weight.

To be honest you have loads of reasons to get back fit and lose that ‘baby weight’.

Your baby of course is another big motivator. I’d imagine that baby is moving around a lot these days and getting stuck into everything. You need a lot of energy for this, and the reality is you’ll need more for what’s to come and you do want to be able to do it. It’s the craic really and I loved that part of the young fella’s life, but I needed every bit of energy. Your partner will be back after Christmas and as always, you’ll want to be at your best to enjoy your time with him and having family time together.

But most importantly you should do all of this for you. I know when I drop a few pounds I feel so much better and it is very hard to beat that feeling and that feeling feeds into every aspect of your life. This is all very good for your head too and with all that’s going on in your life staying mentally strong is vital.

What is great here is that you have a date in mind to start all of this. New years day. So be sure to enjoy everything between now and that dates knowing what you are changing gear on the 1st. I think it’s a great day to start and now that you have it in your head, I believe the plan will work.

Keep us posted!