Workplace Wellbeing: Boasting about burnout is a turnoff 

Stress braggers are often seen as less competent and less likeable by their coworkers. And their loud complaining can make it difficult for others to speak out about their difficulties

In some circles, it’s become a badge of honour to boast about how much you have on your to-do list and the stress of meeting high expectations.

How often do you hear work colleagues complaining about how busy they are? 

Or how stressed they are at the thought of their heavy workloads? In some circles, it’s become a badge of honour to boast about how much you have on your to-do list and the stress of meeting high expectations.

It’s known as stress bragging or boasting about being stressed at work to make yourself seem important to those around you.

Work and organisational psychologist Larry G Maguire believes it stems from insecurity.

“It seems that working [hard] is a signal we send to be perceived as valued members of society,” he says. “Stress bragging allows us to verbalise this, reinforcing how much of a contribution we make and how the workplace would struggle without us. Essentially, what we are saying is, ‘Please don’t sack me’.”

It pains me to admit it, but I used to be a stress braggart. As a working mum, I became addicted to the adrenaline rush from constantly moving from one deadline-driven task to the next.

“I’m up the walls,” I’d mutter as I spent my mornings and early afternoons writing at my desk before picking my son up from school, bringing him to and from after-school activities, helping with homework and making dinner. I’d collapse on the sofa with my partner in the evenings and try to fit activities with my wider family and friends into the weekends. Even writing it down sounds exhausting.

An American study published earlier this year made me reconsider the impact of my bragging. Its 360 participants were asked to rate an imaginary coworker who indulged in this form of boasting, and the results weren’t pretty. They liked these workers less, perceived them as less competent, and were less likely to help them in times of need.

There were also spillover effects from stress bragging, with coworkers more likely to report higher stress levels.

Prof Carol Linehan from the School of Applied Psychology at University College Cork understands such adverse reactions.

“People have a lot on these days, which is why they complain of being busy,” she says. “But this study looks at deliberate boasting when someone knows what they are doing and tries to put forward the impression that they are indispensable. I can see how that might not reflect well on the person doing the boasting. After all, if they have time to constantly tell colleagues how busy they are, how busy can they really be?”

Linehan can see how stress bragging could become a contagion. “If you hear a colleague talking about being overwhelmed by work, you might start asking yourself why you’re not up to 90 like they are,” she says. “You might wonder why you’re not getting the type of projects that could stress you in that way. Thinking like this can cause worry, which is stressful in itself.”

That said, it’s crucial to remember there can be valid reasons for workplace stress. Linehan points out that some of us are employed by organisations with a culture of long hours and overwork and that EU studies have found that people feel high levels of pressure. For example, of the 27,250 people interviewed for the European Agency for Health and Safety at Work survey in 2022, 46% said they were subject to severe time pressure or overload at work.

“Talking about stress is a rational response to those circumstances,” she says. “It can even be clever. Saying you’re already run off your feet reduces the chances that your employer, manager, or coworker will ask you to take on more work.”

Chartered work and organisational psychologist Caroline Conlon

Stress is nothing to boast about

Caroline Conlon is a chartered work and organisational psychologist and lecturer in the HR programme at Munster Technological University. She says stress bragging risks drowning out the voices of employees in genuine distress.

“We all have different tolerances for stress, and some of us have come under lots of stress in recent years, from disruptions in the workplace to the way we work,” she says. “Those who are struggling to manage stress should be allowed to address it in a psychologically safe way and given support to deal with it.”

This is why we should keep our tendency to stress brag in check. “Habitual bragging might make it harder for others,” says Linehan. “Those who need help the most are often the slowest to speak out and we want them to be heard when they do.”

We would also benefit from reminding ourselves that stress is nothing to boast about. On the contrary, it undermines our health: “Stress can have serious physical, psychological, and cognitive consequences,” says Conlon. “We should all be aware of how it impacts on us individually. Some people get headaches, others get backache, while still more suffer from high blood pressure, feel anxious, or have trouble sleeping.”

Instead of allowing such symptoms to persist, she recommends taking proactive steps to manage stress.

“Making sure we take adequate breaks from work and looking after ourselves by moving our bodies, exercising, and eating well are all ways of de-stressing,” she says. “We should also consult our GP if we’re worried stress is taking a toll on our health.”

It’s also worth speaking out at work. “On stressful days, talking to colleagues can help,” says Conlon. “But if stress is a constant, you should talk to your line manager or supervisor. Ongoing stress needs to be explored further.”

Linehan insists this shouldn’t be seen as complaining: “There’s a lot of value in raising problems in an appropriate way. It’s the first step to finding a workable solution.”

Even if issues outside of work are causing stress, workplace supports may be available to help. For example, employee assistance programmes allow people to discuss non-work-related problems with healthcare professionals.

Prof Carol Linehan from the School of Applied Psychology at University College Cork

Employers also have responsibility

Employers have a role to play in tackling workplace stress, too. “If they hear employees complaining, they should ask themselves if the workload is fair and reasonable,” says Conlon. 

“They should examine how much control and autonomy people have in their roles and how much support they get from their colleagues.”

Linehan adds that stress can be due to managers’ poor communication about work priorities. 

“It stresses people out when they don’t understand what’s expected of them. Or sometimes people don’t feel they can switch off from work and answer calls and emails outside of work hours. Employers need to model the behaviour they want to see, to send out positive communication and address any problems that might be causing stress.”

If employers are unsure how to do this, Conlon advises them to use the Health and Safety Authority’s Work Positive resource. This free online tool allows companies to audit stressors in their workplace and identify possible solutions.

I can’t pinpoint the exact time when I stopped stress bragging but it probably coincided with when I started to feel the impact of stress on my body a few months ago. 

I’m trying to alleviate that by exercising more and setting aside my control tendencies by allowing my partner to do more of the childcare. Slowly, I’m beginning to feel less exhausted.

As Linehan says: “It doesn’t do anyone any good to be chronically stressed. Our performance suffers and we don’t function in an optimal way. This doesn’t benefit employees or organisations. It makes no sense to brag about how stressed we are. What makes sense is to do something about it.”