Sex File: I'm a widower and the women I date want to move faster than I do

If you do meet someone who has potential, get it offline as fast as you can. Picture: iStock 

I am a healthy, smart, solvent widower in my late 50s. I have started dating, courtesy of dating sites, and met some lovely women but a few have expressed dismay (the best way I can describe it) when I did not try to make things physical on our first outing. Is everyone wanting immediacy in their relationships or is the problem with me?

Gosh, no. Of course women use dating apps to enjoy casual sex, but vast numbers would, I imagine, be incredibly pleased to find a man who wants to get to know their mind before getting to know their body. You just need to find them. You don’t say how long ago you lost your wife, or how long ago you met and how much the dating game may have changed since, but if your loss was relatively recent you may just need a bit more time.