Sex File: Our sex drives never seem to be in sync, how do we close our libido gap?

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We're in our mid-40s, together since our 20s, and since we've had our children (nine and seven) our sex drives never seem to be in sync. There have been months (or more) when he's been the one with the higher sex drive and I've not been interested; other times he's turned me down. How do we get mutual passion back at the same time?

Don't panic. Fluctuations in libido are inevitable across the course of a long-term relationship. Life challenges have an obvious impact, but issues that might seem comparatively minor, such as perceived unfairness in the division of domestic labour, or even just not feeling respected or cared about, can seriously undermine sexual desire.