We don't have children; the plan was to get our careers to the right place and then start a family. The way things are going, that's never going to happen. Do you have any advice?

We love our house and our community, and we’d rather solve this with kindness than confrontation, but we’re running out of patience and ideas

"I was really happy to see your letter coming in this week, and the reason why is that I think there are lots of people like you who are in this position and afraid to even think about moving on, not to mind actually doing something about it."

"There is nothing worse in this world than when someone is telling you what to do, and phrases like “start fresh” is some kind of Americanism that has made its way into Irish life and all it does is pour fuel onto the fire."

Every parent will empathise with you, but you’re at a stage now where you must look at the big picture for her and, indeed, for yourself.

At the moment, your mother-in-law is semi-retired and is very fit and active, and by the sounds of it, she wants to stay like this and let nothing get in the way.

I’m like your husband, I work a lot to make sure the family is taken care of, but would I be out working if I didn’t have to? 

"I think it’s very tough when children have to mind their parents, especially from a young enough age. It’s nobody’s fault, nobody plans it like this, it just happens. When it does, somebody has to be there."

I don’t agree with giving money for chores. I’m of the ‘you don’t pay rent here or you’re doing something in return’ brigade, and I know many like me.

"I’m going to tell you something now and, if the same was told to me in 2002 when my sister died, I wouldn’t have believed it, and you might think the same way now. It does get easier, and you will get through this."