Bertie’s floating vote prediction may turn out to be a classic damp squib

WITH a hard beak, no backbone and a reputation for being venomous, it could be argued that Bertie the Octopus possesses all the right characteristics to be a shrewd observer of Irish political life.

Like his better-known German counterpart, Paul, Bertie also fancies himself as a psychic.

So yesterday he was called upon to share his insight into the possible result of the general election.

Located in the front window of the 64 Wine Shop in Glasthule, Bertie was faced with a choice of small placards bearing the names of the five main political parties.

Unfortunately, Bertie’s natural inclination as a “floating” voter meant he showed complete indifference to the party motifs, although he ominously clung on for a few minutes to the Greens.

Attempts by Bertie’s handler to cajole the octopus into making a definite prediction by poking him with a long pole led to accusations of voter manipulation.

Ultimately, however, Bertie’s failure to “vote” left the tentacled political tipster looking less psychic squid and more damp squib — perhaps a bit like the election campaign itself.