If Percy Sledge was alive, do you think he would have changed the words and title to his only number one song to ‘when a man loves a man’?

The new children’s hospital. Where is it? It has been 10 years of promise after promise, with nothing to show, not even a shovel of sod turned.

I was searching on the internet for the name of the young Irish girl killed in Scotland. 

If politicians don’t pay for their water charges... how are they going to wash their hands of this mess they got us into?

A definition an Irish discount, I mean budget, is charge double and give half off.

The recent by-elections proved three things.

As Clinton learned from Monicagate and Nixon from Watergate, the cover-up sometimes is worse than the wrongdoing.

Is it true Luis Suarez would have some fava beans and a nice Chianti after each meal... I mean, game?

In the year 2063 Ireland will be celebrating the 100th anniversary of JFK’s visit, not the 50th anniversary of Clare Daly’s comments to Enda Kenny.

People are saying that Katie Taylor is worth her weight in gold...

REGARDING the collapse of the Kyoto protocol in Durban: after paying the ESB bill and paying for the coal, briquettes and oil just to stay warm, I find it interesting that politicians and scientists are trying to stop global warming.

JAMES T KIRK, of the Starship Enterprise, while learning how to become a Starfleet officer, took a test used to check out one’s character.

WHAT do the Houses of the Oireachtas have in common with the Aviva Stadium and the IRFU?

TAOISEACH Brian Cowen’s Red C approval rating of 11% is now lower than the unemployment rate of 13.9%

TWO choices for the Irish taxpayer: stand by or stand up.

IT’S the year 2020 – year 12 of the bank guarantee.

FINANCE Minster Brian Lenihan wants to return AIB to, “its former greatness”.

Think-In. Drink-In.

DERVAL O’Rourke is a silver lining in a dark time.

AFTER recent opinion polls showing Fianna Fáil on the way out, government ministers are telling us the reason for the poor showing is that they are making tough decisions.

THE Minister for Education and Skills, Mary Coughlan, now knows the answer to the Zen question … what is the sound of one hand clapping?

IF you want your letters opened immediately by any hospital, write on the outside of the envelope, “Cheque Enclosed”.

I WAS going to write a letter to the editor about Willie O’Dea, but I forgot what I was going to say.

I FEEL bad for thalidomide victims. The government at the time should have been held responsible.

STEPS towards independence from global problems.

WHAT’S the difference between the great flood of 2304 BC and the current floods in Ireland? Noah was prepared.

WHAT’S the difference between apparitions at Knock and apparitions at Leinster House?

WHY did the Government appear to be so successful the past 12 years?

AFTER seeing Finance Minister Brian Lenihan giving the Government’s NAMA pitch this week, I’m reminded of the quote — “No good strategy is based on hope”.

IF NAMA does not work and there are no private banks left, does that mean there will be no bank holidays?

MAY I offer the following in response to your editorial headlined ‘Priesthood in Ireland — signs of a new era for the church’ (August 25).

IF it weren’t so serious, it would be funny.

FOR every detainee from Guantánamo we accept, we should send one banker there in return.

THERE is a new disease in Ireland — it’s called RAIDS. It stands for Recently Acquired Income Deficiency Syndrome. This disease will affect many people.

MEDICAL cards for over-70s, €100m.

ANAGRAMS of the candidates in upcoming US presidential election.

THE next vote on the Lisbon Treaty will be more Government-friendly. There will be only yes on the ballot.

HOODLUMS used to give you two fingers — now they cut them off you.

IF the HSE has its way, on March 1 it will be easier to get illegal drugs in prison than to get legally prescribed drugs at your local pharmacy.

WHAT IS the sound of one hand clapping? I don’t know, but I do know the result of no hand-washing is MRSA.

WE were among at least 7,000 people who took part in a protest march (organised by Mary McGreal and six other cancer survivors) against removing the breast cancer and other cancer services from Mayo General Hospital in Castlebar.

HERE’S a simple way to get consultants to work exclusively in the public sector.