A Brazilian man has turned up at his own funeral very much alive.

Has there ever been a team that has proved its critics wrong in more emphatic fashion?

Costa Ricans from a small town are in mourning after a celebrity crocodile passed away.

ACCORDING to a study carried out by the CIES Football Observatory — a shadowy bunch of stattos based in Switzerland — Arsenal are reigning Premier League champions.

THE SMALL margins? As Netherlands manager Bert van Marwijk admitted his side could have been out of yesterday’s World Cup quarter final to Brazil after the first 15 minutes, his opposite number Dunga was out of work wondering where it all went wrong.

BRAZIL’S relentless march to the latter stages of this World Cup continued with an effortless victory over Chile last night.

BRAZIL midfielder Gilberto Silva has admitted he is wary of the threat the Ivory Coast possess ahead of tomorrow’s Group G clash.

Ronaldinho has failed to make it into Brazil’s 23-man squad for the 2010 World Cup.

Former Arsenal midfielder Gilberto Silva believes the Republic of Ireland provided the perfect test as Brazil continued their preparations for the World Cup with a 2-0 friendly win at the Emirates Stadium.

BRAZIL intend to go at full throttle when they take on Ireland side tonight in their final friendly before the start of this summer’s World Cup.

FORMER Arsenal midfielder Gilberto Silva is confident one trophy will spark a bigger haul for the Gunners. The Brazilian won the Premier League as a member of the 2003/04 side and played his part in the 2005 FA Cup victory – Arsenal’s last trophy.

ROBINHO is set for a quick return to England, after the recently departed Manchester City striker was named in the Brazil squad for next month’s friendly against Ireland in London.

AC Milan playmaker Ronaldinho has not been included in the Brazil squad for next month’s friendly international against Republic of Ireland at Emirates Stadium.

JUST as I’m getting back into the swing of things, we’re lumbered with another international interruption.

Brazilian defender Gilberto has left Tottenham after his contract with the club was cancelled by mutual consent.

Former Arsenal captain Gilberto Silva has urged Brazil team-mate Felipe Melo to join the Gunners.

Aaron Lennon joins a lengthy list of Tottenham absentees for tomorrow’s Barclays Premier League clash against Manchester City after failing to recover from a groin injury.

Tottenham winger Aaron Lennon has a groin strain and will miss the Barclays Premier League trip to Everton.

THE man with the red shirt and the puce face was in no doubt. “It’s like George bloody Graham’s back in charge,’’ he bellowed, before stomping out of the Emirates, his cry scarcely audible over the cat-calls that greeted this result.

Tottenham 1 Shakhtar Donetsk 1 (Shakhtar Donetsk win 3-1 on aggregate)

Tottenham trio Robbie Keane, Roman Pavlyuchenko and Vedran Corluka are back in the squad for the Premier League trip to Hull after being cup-tied for UEFA Cup action this week.

New Tottenham midfielder Wilson Palacios could make his debut at Bolton tomorrow in a crucial Barclays Premier League relegation battle.

Tottenham midfielder Wilson Palacios is suspended for the Barclays Premier League clash against Stoke at White Hart Lane tomorrow.

Tottenham’s on-loan striker Fraizer Campbell is ineligible to play against parent club Manchester United in the FA Cup at Old Trafford this week.

Darren Bent’s absence from Tottenham’s squad against Burnley has been explained as a groin injury, amid concerns his confidence has been affected by his infamous miss at the weekend.

Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp wants to sign four proven players this month to bolster a threadbare squad he describes as desperately short on quality in numbers.

Newcastle striker Obafemi Martins was denied the opportunity to score in a fifth successive league game against Tottenham when a groin injury ruled him out of this afternoon’s clash.

TOTTENHAM boss Harry Redknapp admitted Gilberto’s career at White Hart Lane is drawing to an end after hauling the Brazilian off at half-time following his blunder against Spartak Moscow which almost cost a place in the UEFA Cup knockout stage.

Tottenham striker Darren Bent has tonsillitis and is out of the UEFA Cup clash against Spartak Moscow at White Hart Lane tomorrow.

Tottenham pair Vedran Corluka and Roman Pavlyuchenko return to the squad for the Barclays Premier League clash against Everton, after being cup-tied for midweek UEFA Cup action.

Tottenham pair Roman Pavlyuchenko and Vedran Corluka are cup-tied for the UEFA Cup clash against NEC Nijmegen in Holland.

ARSENE WENGER is under the sort of pressure he has not experienced in quarter of a century as a football manager.

Tottenham midfielder Luka Modric is out of the Barclays Premier League clash against Blackburn following a groin injury.

Tottenham midfielder Jermaine Jenas has recovered from a toe injury and is back in the squad for the Barclays Premier League clash at Fulham.

Tottenham left-back Benoit Assou-Ekotto is suspended for tomorrow’s Carling Cup fourth-round clash against Liverpool at White Hart Lane.

Vedran Corluka and Roman Pavlyuchenko return to the Tottenham squad for the clash at Manchester City after being cup-tied for the UEFA Cup this week.

Ledley King is expected to be rested for Tottenham’s UEFA Cup clash against Dinamo Zagreb.

Gareth Bale will return from suspension for Tottenham’s Barclays Premier League clash against rivals Arsenal at the Emirates Stadium.

Defender Jonathan Woodgate is the latest injury concern ahead of Tottenham’s Barclays Premier League clash against Bolton after being substituted against Udinese with an apparent groin problem.

Tottenham will have Roman Pavlyuchenko and Vedran Corluka available for the Barclays Premier League clash against Hull at White Hart Lane.

Portsmouth were hoping for an improved defensive display as Tottenham visited Fratton Park today.

Tottenham will make a late decision on Gareth Bale’s foot injury ahead of the Barclays Premier League clash at Portsmouth on Sunday.

Striker Obafemi Martins returned to the Newcastle starting line-up for tonight’s Carling Cup clash with Tottenham as caretaker manager Chris Hughton summoned up as much firepower as he could muster.