The saga of the Taoiseach, the turbulent TD, his assistant/fiancee and her diamond ring is made for TV – except maybe it would be too far-fetched for a producer to consider, says Michael Clifford

Noah ****

Then We Take Berlin

“A 36-year-old insurance agent from Istanbul knocked United out of Europe.”

What channel to watch? Who has hired the bluffers and who has the gems? Des O’Driscoll tunes television viewers into Euro 2012

This week’s new releases

IF I TELL the truth about being a judge for this weekend’s People of the Year Awards, they’ll never invite me again.

FORMULA ONE cranks up again at this time of year, much to the delight, no doubt, of Bernie Ecclestone.

HARRY REDKNAPP has always had the air of an EastEnders character about him, and the Tottenham Hotspur manager did little to disabuse anyone of that notion with a post-match summation that could just as easily have been delivered over a pint in the Queen Vic.

ACTRESS Wendy Richard died yesterday after a battle with cancer, her agent said.

There is serious talk of Keira Knightley reviving the role of Cockney flowergirl Eliza Doolittle in a re-make of the l964 musical classic of 'My Fair Lady' (based on George Bernard Shaw’s 'Pygmalion').

Irish star Brendan Gleeson will join Amy Ryan and Greg Kinnear in director Paul Greengrass’s as-yet-untitled drama set in Baghdad while Colin Farrell is to star in a Woody Allen production.

COLIN Farrell and Ewan McGregor were in Venice yesterday for the premiere of their new Woody Allen film Cassandra’s Dream.

Dual Guineas hero Cockney Rebel is reported to be sore after his surprise defeat in the St James’s Palace Stakes at Royal Ascot.

LEGENDARY Carry On film star Barbara Windsor — now known to millions as Eastenders’ battle-axe Peggy Mitchell — yesterday flew into Ireland to trace her family ancestry.

IT’S one of those Irish football yarns that is so delicious you almost have to assume it’s apocryphal. But here, from the horse’s mouth, is confirmation that every word of the great Terry Mancini ‘national anthem’ legend is true.

HOLLYWOOD heart-throb Jude Law has made a public apology to his fiancée, actress Sienna Miller, after revelations of an affair with his nanny.

In re-making Michael Caine's memorable film about the title-named Cockney serial womaniser the studio hasn't done the story any real good.

Actor Jude Law today quashed rumours he and girlfriend Sienna Miller are engaged to marry.

Jude Law and Sienna Miller had the look of love at the premiere of their new movie Alfie.

Quentin Tarantino resurrected the career of John Travolta and now he wants to work his film magic on another star of yesteryear – Tommy Steele.

GARY JOHNSON has perhaps the most unusual curriculum vitae in the depths of Division Three.

Pop icon Adam Faith had a young lover in his hotel room when he suffered a fatal heart attack, it was claimed today.

THE death of motorcyclist Barry Sheene from cancer earlier yesterday has robbed sport of one of its most colourful characters.

A MOTHER who lost her only son in the tragedy still sobs herself to sleep as she struggles to come to terms with the death of her “confident, Cockney lad.”

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson admitted today that she had sent Darren Day a saucy message on ITV1’s celebrity survivor show.

Big Brother contestant Elizabeth was celebrating her 27th birthday today with a surprise present from fellow housemate Bubble.