Julie Jay: Nana’s visit has relegated me to second place in my children’s eyes

I am the fossil fuel to my mother’s renewable energy source, the sod of turf to her wind turbine, the briquette to her solar panel

Julie Jay: "Over the last few days, I have been demoted from favourite person to just a randomer who seems to be following everyone around with a mop and bucket, saying things like: ‘If anyone wants me to peel a banana, I’m just in the hallway here’."

Most weeks, I oscillate between simultaneously resenting being the go-to parent for yoghurt opening, banana peeling, and Velcro-strapping, and revelling in my status as the default parent. The truth is, I love being the children’s number-one contact point in a crisis (and by crisis, I mean, of course, when Daddy presents them a scrambled egg, of which Number One has an utter phobia).

Because, as much as it’s exhausting knowing the precise GPS of every Hot Wheels car that has ever crossed the threshold at any given time, it is also nice to know that should we ever introduce proportional representation at home, I would get a considerable amount of first-preference votes.