I’m always amazed when people write in from Tipperary to say they get distracted during sex. Come on, it’s not like there is anything else to do up there. I recommend you stop watching EastEnders for a while. There are all kinds of things you can picture to spruce up your love life. Ian Beale isn’t one of them. I’m reluctant to recommend role-play to culchies. I suggested this once to a man from Buttevant and he thought it involved ham rolls. The more you think about that, the worse it gets.
I’d say you’re hearing it from a lot of people too. I’m like totally allerge and I haven’t even met you. In terms of looking at hot Cork men, it really depends on the weather. If it’s raining, I usually stay at home and look at them on Tinder. (My hair is a fright when it gets wet, it’s hardly worth my while heading into town.) If it stays fine, just pitch up in any bar around town and the talent will come to you. Cork men are fools for women with posh Dublin accents. My Conor met Rachel Allen once and he actually started dribbling.
You seriously have to wait for three dates? No wonder so many Italian men make the move to Ireland. You’d feel badly done by in Cork if you had to wait for three hours. (I hear that comes down under the 60 minute mark in Mitchelstown.) No, it doesn’t count as two dates if you do a runner half way through. But your question does explain why an Italian I was on a date with last month insisted that he had to pop out for an hour. And I thought it was because I was dancing on the bar in The Metropole singing ‘Push It Real Good’ by Salt n Pepa. You learn something new every day.
He’ll have trouble selling it. I should warn you about the dangers of driving around north Cork when you don’t know the roads. One wrong turn and you could end up in Kerry. It isn’t immediately obvious that you have left Cork. Until you come across a man with nose-hair that goes down to his knees. In fairness, they are very welcoming below in Kerry. Particularly if they suspect you have money. And then they’ll be all over you like fleas.
Maybe you could give them an afternoon off. Seriously, the best thing about growing up here was when the Lord Mayor called and gave your school a ‘halfer’.
Trust me, the only thing that Cork people want more than a surprise halfer is for Donal Og Cusack to fail above in Clare. (We’re fierce bitter.) If the halfer isn’t an option (and I know you Americans only get three hours off a year), then just lay on a free bar. If you want to make this extra awesome, I recommend you make yourself scarce on the night. To be honest, I’d say you’re unbearable, even after eight free pints. (No offence.)
I’m reluctant to recommend role-play to culchies. I suggested this once to a man from Buttevant and he thought it involved ham rolls. The more you think about that, the worse it gets