Sex File: My partner has put on weight and our sex life is suffering

If your partner feels ashamed of his body, it's going to be hard for him to be emotionally and physically intimate with you

The change in your partner's appearance is obviously an issue for him but the change in the way the two of you are communicating sounds equally problematic.

My partner and I are in our forties and generally had a good sex life. Recently, however, he has put on a bit of weight, which has impacted his self-esteem. I'm still attracted to him but the lower his confidence gets, the more our sex life suffers. I am constantly reassuring him but he seems to feel patronised. How can we get back on track?

I am sure there must be some people who genuinely don't care about carrying a bit of extra weight, but they are in the minority. Despite the best efforts of the body positivity movement, research continually finds that for both men and women, body satisfaction decreases as BMI increases. It's difficult because weight gain in midlife is something of an inevitability thanks to metabolic changes, loss of muscle mass and declining levels of sex hormones.