Sex File: How do I say he's doing it wrong?

"People are not psychic, and if you don't tell them what you want, how are they supposed to know?"
Sex File: How do I say he's doing it wrong?

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My partner is quite proud of his prowess and doesn't respond brilliantly to direction (in or out of bed). I was probably too 'over-enthusiastic' in the early days, which means I now often find myself climaxing in spite of him rather than because of him. Seven years in, it feels too late to tell him what he's been getting wrong for so long. What should I do?

You say that he is the one who is getting things wrong, but I would argue that you are equally responsible. People are not psychic, and if you don't tell them what you want, how are they supposed to know? As you are now discovering, it is unbelievably difficult to tell someone you have been having sex with for seven years that you don't like their technique. That's why I am constantly banging on about the importance of establishing clear communication about sex from the outset.

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