Sex File: How do I say he's doing it wrong?

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You say that he is the one who is getting things wrong, but I would argue that you are equally responsible. People are not psychic, and if you don't tell them what you want, how are they supposed to know? As you are now discovering, it is unbelievably difficult to tell someone you have been having sex with for seven years that you don't like their technique. That's why I am constantly banging on about the importance of establishing clear communication about sex from the outset.