Sex file: Hot weather is putting my husband off sex

Hot weather is putting my husband off sex — he just gets tired and sweaty

I have discovered that my libido increases when the weather is hot. I don't know whether it's all the pheromones or just the feeling of warmth on my skin, but it makes me feel sexier. My husband, however, is less keen — he just gets tired and sweaty. How could we fix this?

Anecdotally at least, there are lots of reasons that you might feel more frisky when the sun comes out, but the academic evidence is very mixed. Perhaps because, just like with you and your husband, people have such different reactions to the heat.

One recent study from the Hungarian Academy of Sciences in Budapest on Ambient temperature and sexual activity examined whether high temperatures had an effect on sexual activity — and concluded that they did not. It did find that on a cold day sexual activity is significantly lower.

But most other research into seasonal changes in sex drive finds that high temperatures actually lead to a drop in people having sex. There are several explanations for why this may be. The most practical is that when it is very hot, most of us feel lethargic, and no one has the energy — or the desire — to make themselves even hotter.

Other research shows that the testes shrink in the heat and sperm counts drop. Lots of studies have looked at the relationship between hot weather and fertility and they generally find that the number of babies born nine months after a temperature spike is much lower. Science cares about the relationship between heat and fertility because if climate change is making the world warmer and heat has a negative impact on sperm, we're in trouble.

In your husband's defence, it has been very, very hot recently, and when the temperature is up around 30°C the idea of doing anything that might make you even hotter has limited appeal. But there are ways around it that should suit you both. The best time of day to have sex when the weather is warm is in the morning because body temperature cools overnight. Your husband is also likely to have more energy first thing in the morning. Keeping your bedroom cool through the night will help too.

Oscillating fans are useful as the breeze keeps you cool, but it also tickles your skin slightly. Sticking to positions that limit body contact can help too.

You could also experiment with having sex in a cool shower. You'll need to use lubricant because sex in water is a weirdly dry experience, but you can actually buy 'cooling' lubricant that feels icy when it touches the skin.

The best time of day to have sex when the weather is warm is in the morning because body temperature cools overnight — or you could use ice cubes in imaginative ways

You can also use ice cubes in imaginative ways.

And you never know, sex or no sex, you might both find that you have a better night's sleep after giving these cooling tricks a try.

You may have a better night's sleep after trying some of these cooling tricks — sex or no sex

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