Lighten Up: Will flying tractors be next?

While flying upside down has plenty of downsides, with a tractor that can fly upside down our Auld Lehane can see nothing but positives

A tractor that could fly upside down, or right side up, would not only be a great creation and a joy to behold, but also a tremendous asset on our farms.

I was delighted to hear the news that Elon Musk had created a flying car.

Not only a flying car, but a car that can fly upside down too!

Finally, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang has become a reality.

Such marvellous creations are long overdue.

And now my hope is that a flying tractor, for the under-pressure farmer, is just around the corner.

For while a flying car, that can fly upside down, or right side up, is badly needed, a tractor that can do likewise would be much more appreciated.

I have been crying out for such a vehicle with many years.

The day Chitty Chitty Bang Bang becomes a reality on our farms cannot come soon enough, as far as I'm concerned.

A flying tractor Elon, must be next on your list.

In the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Dick Van Dyke created a car that could fly anywhere you damn well liked.

Yerra, I remember the movie well, for what else was I doing as a child only watching TV?

I used to be glued to the set, like a young calf would be clued to the pap of a cow.

I gained more knowledge from the telly than from a thousand so-called books.

I saw cars flying, long before they became a reality on the ground, or up in the air.

And now thanks to the madness/genius of Elon Musk, the day has finally arrived.

Hallelujah!

And while the flying car, that can also fly upside down, will be a great addition to our lives, it does have its disadvantages, in that the shopping from the village could quite easily fall out of the bags on the return journey home.

Spilt milk could become a reality in the car that can fly upside down. Mould on the floor and mould on the ceiling could become very commonplace if such a car was driven by a reckless individual.

Flying upside down could also induce sickness in poor travellers.

Whereas with a tractor that can fly upside down, I see nothing only positives.

A tractor that could fly upside down, or right side up, would not only be a great creation and a joy to behold, but also a tremendous asset on our farms.

Can you imagine ploughing a field and coming to the end of a furrow, only for the tractor to flip up into the air, thus allowing all the earth and stubborn sods to fly off the boards?

"Magnificent stuff!" you cry.

Can you imagine being out in a bog working away with a tractor that allows you to hover over the ground — ruts would no longer be an issue, broken thumbs no longer a plague.

Happy days!

The tea up the field would no longer be drunk stretched out by the wheel of a tractor.

With the flying tractor you could just as easily enjoy your evening tea staring out at the Old Head of Kinsale, from a height of 10,000ft.

Or looking down on Mount Kilimanjaro while enjoying your jam sandwich.

The world would be your oyster with a flying tractor.

Can you imagine going to the mart in a flying tractor, or even a flying cattle truck?

The mart yard now more like an airport runway, with incoming and outbound flights of cows, bullocks and weanling heifers.

"Prices were flying today" auld Lehane would report on the mart pages of the Farm Exam, "and the cattle were too!"

Life is going to be far more enjoyable, and much more fun with flying cars, tractors and cattle trucks.

Elon and his crew have made fantasy a reality and it's time for us all to embrace this airborne madness.

In the words of Dick Van Dyke himself:

"Never say no to adventures… Otherwise you'll lead a very dull life."