10 good reasons to go to the ploughing

The 2 Johnnies’ pose for a selfie with a huge crowd of fans at the AIB stand for the National Ploughing Championship 2017. 

(1) It makes you feel like a Farmer. 

It's easy for me to feel like a farmer, all I have to do is look at my overdraft! But not everyone is so lucky. For many non-farmers, who would love to feel like a farmer for the day, a visit to the ploughing is a must. It will satisfy that craving for the farmer feeling.

(2) It's good to get away.

Even if it's only a case of leaving the farm at home, to go to a bigger one up in Screggan, it's a healthy move to make.

A doctor would probably tell you it's good for the heart. It's probably good for the libido too.

(3) It's important to be able to tell people you were there.

I have found down through the years that there is nothing that stimulates conversation more at a cocktail party than to announce to all that you were at the ploughing. It really gets the party started.

(4) It makes you think big.

Size may not matter in every aspect of your life, but let me assure you my friend, it certainly matters in farming. Big is beautiful. And you will never get big twiddling your thumbs staring at the fire. Go to the ploughing and shove your rear end up on the seat of a monster tractor. Now we're talking. Doesn't that feel good?

(5) What you spend at the ploughing stays at the ploughing.

A day at the ploughing entitles you to spend wildly and to purchase stuff.

From spanners to a new tractor, all bets are off when you are at the ploughing. No purchase is too big, no trinket too small.

Your cheque book might wobble a bit afterwards. But don't worry, it will recover.

(6) Don't break with tradition.

Your father went and your mother too. In fact, they probably met there. So don't turn your back on the ploughing now and head to Las Vegas or someplace. Go to the ploughing, tis practically family.

(7) What else were you planning to do?

The silage is cut. The cows could go to once a day. The bullocks don't need you as much as you think and the hens can lock themselves up.

Go to the ploughing. Admire the straight furrow.

The place will still be there when you return.

(8) Everyone else is going.

Look, let's face it. You are not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer. After all, here you are reading a list of why it's a good idea to go to the ploughing. It's not exactly Einstein's Theory of Relativity. It's not Ulysses.

Go to the ploughing my friend, and we will worry about all your other problems another day.

(9) It's a chance to see how your car performs in the mud.

Most cars perform very badly in mud, but yours could be different.

A wet year at the ploughing provides you with a great opportunity to spin the tyres see how the old car performs in a muddy field.

And don't worry should you fail. A high-powered tractor is never more than a bellow away. You will be pulled out of your rut in no time. Where else would you get it?

(10) God is asking you to go. 

The man above loves the ploughing.

He even went to the trouble of aligning the stars into the shape of a plough.

The ploughing championship is the only event in the known universe to carry a celestial advert.

You have to go! It's written in the stars.