Denis Lehane: The Leaving Cert needs to lighten up
Win lose or draw, remember there's a whole world of wonderful people out there who care little about leaving certs and far more about you.
If the leaving cert was a bullock, it would be the big lad down the field suffering from bloat. It badly needs a pinprick.
In my time, the leaving cert was an excuse to play pool during the day.
It was something few of us did, and fewer again ever used.
Nowadays, however, with everyone wanting to be the next Tony O'Reilly or Mary Robinson, the Leaving Cert has taken on a life of its own.
It has become something akin to the task of addressing the United Nations.
A period of stress, with a lot of tears shed because of it.
The most important thing in life is to be happy.
And the Leaving Cert nowadays is about as cheerful as the chore of making President Putin's supper.
Why, for instance, is Leaving Cert English treated with such seriousness?
The books lined up in this house needed to get my children over the Leaving Cert line would bring tears to a turnip.
In this day and age who cares about 'The Merchant of Venice' or 'Macbeth'?
'Tis hard enough to get through your day without concerning yourself with the troubles of royalty who talk in riddles.
If I was the Minister for Education, the first thing I'd do would be to fling Macbeth into the recycling bin and bring out a copy of the Tailor and Ansty.
English was a second language for the Tailor, yet he still spoke it with far more fun and flair than most.
If I was the Minister for Education, I would ensure that every young person leaving secondary school this summer had a full driving licence, if they desired to have one.
In my experience of life since leaving secondary school, the study of Shakespeare hasn't helped me in any way whatsoever, however, being able to steer a tractor out of a bog-hole, or direct a car in the direction of Macroom, has helped me immensely.
The greatest problem today with learning is that in many ways, it's the wrong things we are being taught.
I remember years ago hearing the story of a man, with the finest education in the world, who lost a leg due to being over-educated.
This captain of industry, this leader of men, had more qualifications and degrees than the Pope himself.
Anyhow, one day while crossing a busy New York street, he was asked if he could recall one of his favourite Shakespearean sonnets.
Now being a man of overwhelming book knowledge, he felt he had the world to choose from.
So, his mind went racing into overdrive as he went about choosing his number one.
Well, from the height of pondering, analysing and generally looking to the sky for inspiration, didn't he accidentally step into an uncovered manhole and lost a leg as a result. Shakespeare wasn't much good to him then.
Instead of education taking him to new heights, it brought him to his knees.
My point today is simple, don't fret over exams, just keep an eye on where you are going.
If you are about the sit an exam today, or over the coming weeks don't worry.
Win lose or draw, remember there's a whole world of wonderful people out there who care little about leaving certs and far more about you.
