The greatest one-liners in British TV history

Phoenix Nights: Brian Potter: “Garlic bread – it’s the future, I’ve tasted it.”

The Mrs Merton Show

Mrs Merton to Debbie McGee: “So, what first attracted you to millionaire Paul Daniels?”

The Office

David Brent: “If you were to ask me to name three geniuses, I probably wouldn’t say Einstein, Newton... I’d go Milligan, Cleese, Everett, Sessions...”

Father Ted

Father Ted: “I’m not a fascist. I’m a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests...more drink?”

Blackadder

Edmund Blackadder: “He’s mad! He’s mad. He’s madder than Mad Jack McMad, the winner of this year’s Mr Madman competition.”

Only Fools And Horses

Trigger speculates on the name of Del Boy’s new baby: “If it’s a girl they’re gonna name it Sigourney after an actress, and if it’s a boy they’re gonna name him Rodney after Dave.”

Absolutely Fabulous

Patsy: “One more facelift on this one and she’ll have a beard.”

Fawlty Towers

Basil Fawlty: (two guests are speaking to Basil in German) “Oh, German. I’m sorry, I thought there was something wrong with you.”

I’m Alan Partridge

Alan Partridge: “I’m going nowhere, Lynn. Quite literally, I’m on the ring road.”

Vicar of Dibley

Geraldine arrives as the new priest: “You were expecting a bloke with a beard, a bible and bad breath. You’ve got a babe with a bob cut and a magnificent bosom.”