They don’t know what they’re missing

It would have been an altogether different spectacle in South Africa had our boys taken their rightful place among the nations of the earth. At least Sepp will know better the next time we ask for special dispensation.

SO the ball is too round, the vuvuzelas too loud, the altitude too high, the cold too biting and the rain too wet.

All the excuses, plausible and otherwise, have been advanced to explain why World Cup 2010 was slow to ignite but those of us left behind in sun-splashed Ireland know better. The real reason – and this will be a bit of a blow to the atheists – is that there is indeed a God and, what’s more, he is (a) wrathful (b) more powerful than Sepp Blatter (c) as moody as Maradona and (d) firmly on the side of the Gael, just like Dev always said he was.