Soccer: Fab four prevent a hard day’s night

HOW many times will this be said throughout the season: where would Manchester United be without the key quartet of Keane, Nistelrooy, Scholes and Howard?

Sunday's cup win at Villa provided a perfect encapsulation of the point.

Howard kept our hopes alive for an hour and then handed the mission over to the other three, who duly combined to provide the victory.

Some Reds did wonder afterwards why it has to be done this way round - surely it would be better to play the Full Monty XI from the start and then rest the superstars after they've wrapped up the match?

It would be a splendid incentive to the players too: "right Roy, you can knock off early once you've destroyed the opposition. OK?"

I bet you we'd be wrapping up most matches by half-time if Sir Alex played it that way a practice he used to be fond of in the 1990's.

Perhaps he just wants to make us sweat, to make life more exciting.

He certainly makes us sweat by persisting with Diego Forlan, who flounced off straight to the dressing room, instead of the bench when he was substituted. It was amusing to see the reaction of United fans to his departure they half clapped him off, half waved goodbye sarcastically.

Diego divides us even more sharply than Rio and there is currently a frenzied debate amongst us as to whether we should be happy to let him depart to Middlesbrough, or should encourage him to stay and try to better himself.

Personally I think it's a miracle that any Premier League club should even be interested in him. Mind you, word is that McLaren will only take Forlan if he gets Nicky Butt too, a departure that would cause slightly more Red anguish than Forlan's, despite Butt's poor display on Sunday.

Nicky is a 'core' fledgling, after all, whose sale would have a kind of metaphysical significance. If he's not safe, the reasoning goes, then neither are the Nevilles and many local Reds would feel uneasy about losing too much of our Manchunian character.

In tough local scraps like tonight's visit to Bolton, for example, it always seems to help us to have some parochial passion in our kitbag. Last month's derby victory provided proof positive of that.

Nonetheless, we are all getting a little giddy about the prospect of fresh foreign blood coming our way. Last Friday produced a hilarious moment at Old Trafford's press briefing.

At the very hour of Sir Alex denying to pressman that he was interested in signing PSV's wonderful kid Robben, the player himself was at Carrington getting the grand tour.

An enterprising tabloid paparazzo managed to get a snap of him as he left the complex and thus Saturday's Mirror back page splash mightily embarrassed all those hacks who'd confidently written that morning that Robben was a non-starter.

One broadsheet scribe mused to me later: "We're going to have to improve our game. Sir Alex is much better at telling porkies than he used to be. I was totally convinced!"

Readers of this column with good memories might remember that I flagged up Robben here as a very good bet back in October, as a friend of mine had spent an evening in his company at a Salford hotel while he was on his way to OT for talks.

Even more exciting, as I write on Monday evening, is the story we're picking up at Red Issue that we are mounting a bid for Inter Milan's Christian Vieri.

This may have broken in the press by the time you read this column, but I assure you the source is good and that Vieri himself is keen. Doubtless United will find a way to muck the deal up but, for the time being, I am thrilled at the notion. Imagine the weight he could take off Ruud's shoulders and imagine the goals!

Roy Keane did say two weeks ago that we needed some "heavy physical presence up front" and we all thought he was dropping hints about Viduka, but perhaps he meant Vieri. The mouth waters. (Adios, Diego).

Meanwhile, next weekend brings us face to face with another great war horse centre forward who was perennially linked with United: Alan Shearer.

How we used to love hurling abuse at him in his '90's pomp - and how we used to pray that he'd sign for us whenever the opportunity arose.

He and Keane have a 'history' together, as is well known and I look forward to some proper blood and guts argy bargy on Sunday.

For, despite the punch-up with Arsenal, this has been a curiously bloodless season thus far - as effete as a tennis tournament.

C'mon Geordies, let loose your dogs of war: let's 'ave it!

Richard Kurt is Deputy Editor of Redissue.co.uk.