“Goodison is no place to go with a Spanish hangover,” fretted your pessimistic correspondent here last week, although not even I thought the week would turn out quite this badly.

No doubt as to what was the dominant angry shout of the past week: “That was never a pen!” (Well, leaving aside Neymar’s dad yelling at King Eric.)

Tony Leen and John Divilly review the weekend's championship action with Colm O'Connor.

No Red in his right mind should have been surprised when the final whistle blew last night. A week ago, I bluntly concluded here: “Defeat is the likeliest outcome for a Pogba-free United; I’d snatch your hand off for a draw.”

Wayne Rooney is already a globally-recognised footballer but the Everton striker could be set for worldwide stardom of a different kind with his potential immortalisation in the Angry Birds online game franchise.

Michael Bohane advanced at the expense of James Buckley in the Mick Barry Cup at Ballincurrig.

Longford impressed throughout as they began their All-Ireland campaign, with a well-earned eight-point SFC Round 1 qualifier win against 13 men Louth at Drogheda's Gaelic Grounds.

Former Mayo forward Conor Mortimer has said that more of his county's forwards "need to step up" after their single-point defeat to Galway in Sunday's Connacht Football semi-final at Pearse Stadium.

With the Cheltenham Festival moving tantalisingly into view the fare in Britain this afternoon is understandably less than stellar.

I wonder just how many snarky emojis the interweb will have constructed for poor Pogba by the time you read this.

4/5

Sigh. Isn’t it a bit soon for Groundhog Day? How many more times this season will we have to sum up a game as follows?

Football autobiographies tend to set their stall out early doors.

The ‘Rose of Mooncoin’ rang out loud and clear in Croke Park yesterday evening, the Kilkenny GAA ballad had not been heard on All-Ireland camogie final day for over two decades. 

Point-and-click adventures have made a resurgence in recent years, and it’s no surprise why; they offer storytelling opportunities and the ability to use humour like few other genres can.

Our Kind of Traitor 4/5

An angry bird called Red is suspicious when a boat arrives filled with green pigs.

Cue TV voiceover. Previously, on Terrace Talk: “One struggles to imagine how we can trouble City. But then one does think of Martial & Rashford’s lingering un-Van Gaal’d ability to do the unexpected. And a flame of hope still burns.”

Last week, giddy after Piggy’s last-minute bacon-saver at Watford, I allowed myself to write hopefully that a “qualification-clinching evening against PSV would cap five days of United hugely cheering us all up”. Sigh. When will I ever learn?

John Gosden’s Gretchen lived up to her stout breeding with a game-staying performance in the DFS Park Hill Stakes at Doncaster.

Liverpool forward Raheem Sterling’s latest apparent laughing gas incident is unlikely to have any effect on his club’s stance in relation to the player’s ongoing transfer saga.

Munster coach Anthony Foley dismissed reports linking Paul O’Connell with Toulon as “nonsense” and claimed the story was a malicious attempt to ‘cause trouble’.

There is a phrase that brings a chill to the spine of governing politicians, imperial generals and football managers alike: "The natives are getting restless".

One of my oldest friends reported a telling exchange with his son on Saturday night.

Sympathetic glances on February 14 aside, being a singleton has many advantages, not least the huge amount of ‘me time’, says Louise O’Neill.

A Spool of Blue Thread

We all love a cup of tea, but Malaysian artist Red Hong Yi has turned into an art form.

We all love a cup of tea, but Malaysian artist Red Hong Yi has turned into an art form.

Spotify has stopped streaming Taylor Swift’s music at her request, setting up a business struggle between the leading provider of a new music distribution system and the industry’s most popular artist.

There was little fuss or bother in the way Munster set about arch rivals Leinster at the Aviva Stadium and the post-match reflections from the visiting dressing room were similarly to the point.

Blonde attacker Diarmuid O’Keeffe kicked a stunning additional time point to hand St Anne’s the narrowest of victories, 2-12 to 2-11, over reigning champions St Martin’s in this Group A Wexford SFC game at Taghmon.

MUSIC NEWS: The inestimable Kate Bush has struck a blow for those of us Luddites who seethe with rage at the glowing blanket of smartphones held aloft at gigs.

St Leger favourite Kingston Hill puts his Classic credentials on the line in the Neptune Investment Management Great Voltigeur Stakes at York today.

The board of the Red Kettle Theatre Company in Waterford has blamed the combination of "severe cuts" to funding and six years of economic erosion for the closure of the award-winning body.

Click: What’s One Piece: Unlimited World Red all about?

Mayo 2-12 Derry 1-7

Mayo 4-12 Cork 2-14

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are reportedly engaged.

Will.i.am insists he never agreed to perform at a New Year's Eve concert in Brazil.

There’s something of a tin hat panic mode among Manchester United fans at the moment and I’d like to join them.