Bored United fans won't be gagged

ALEX FERGUSON can gag captain Roy Keane. He can stop his players answering questions in press conferences as he did in Paris with a sharp dig in the ribs of defender John O'Shea.

He might even be able to fool himself into believing United's form is just a passing blip which will be rectified when those injured and suspended return.

But it's no good. The secret is out. Manchester United are no longer Manchester United.