Tommy Martin: Arsenal ball leaves us colder than a Sheffield freezer, but less chill 

With the sheer amount of money, data, coaching, fitness, conditioning and skill available, is this the best football can come up with?

BEAUTIFUL GAME? Arsenal's Declan Rice readies himself for a long throw. Photo: OLI SCARFF/AFP via Getty Images

This column comes to you via the frozen food section of the Co-op supermarket on Eccleshall Road in Sheffield, now famous for the ambient music its fridge freezers make when they are, well, just sitting there freezing stuff.

The phenomenon came to light earlier this year via a Sheffield Reddit thread. “Anyone noticed how nice the freezers sound in the eccy road co-op?” a user posted, presumably apropos of nothing, unless the musical output of industrial appliances was an existing cultural niche.