Soundbites, trash talk and strops: The standout quotes of 2015
“She is probably thinking: ‘If this goes in, I get a new kitchen.’”
“I think you’re an ostrich — your head must be in the sand. Is your head in the sand? Are you flexible enough to get your head in the sand? My suspicion would be no. I can. You can’t.”
“It is a declaration of war on my sport. I take pretty grave exception to that. There is nothing in our history of competence and integrity that warrants this kind of attack.”
“There is a zero tolerance to the abuse of doping in my sport and I will maintain that to the very highest level of vigilance.”
“We will do whatever it takes to protect the clean athletes and rebuild trust in our sport. The IAAF will continue to offer the police authorities our full cooperation into their ongoing investigation.”
“You can support Man United, the West Indies and Team GB all at the same time — of course I’d rather you supported West Ham.”
“I had what Natalie Bennett described as a brain fade. I’m a Villa fan… I must have been overcome by something this morning.”
“I’m aware there has been intense media speculation surrounding my future and I want to set the record straight. I’m not leaving. I’m staying.”
“My mother, Madam Low Siew Beng, a devout Buddhist, spoke to me on the importance of togetherness, unity and happiness … To paraphrase John F Kennedy: ‘Let us never compromise out of fear. But let us never fear to compromise.’”
“I’ll get over it. The rumour I’m trying to start right now is that Justin Gatlin paid him off.”
“Fucking have it you Czech flash fuck.”
“Kokkinakis banged your girlfriend, sorry to tell you that mate.”
“I believe a woman’s best place is in the kitchen and on her back, that’s my personal belief.”
“Fake ass, cheap-shotting, fake respect, fake humility bitch. Preacher’s daughter, my ass. I see through your fake sweet act now — you’re getting your ass kicked tomorrow.”
“My thoughts on Dennis Siver are: He’s a midget German steroid head.”
“One thing that really pissed me off was how he would flippantly toss a club in the general direction of the bag, expecting me to go over and pick it up. I felt uneasy about bending down to pick up his discarded club, it was like I was his slave. The other thing that disgusted me was his habit of spitting at the hole if he missed a putt.”
“The RFU has spent the past four years congratulating itself on the direction in which we’re heading, but the truth is we have marched confidently into a total mess. We are the laughing stock of not only world rugby but also sport and business.”
“I have to apologise to the nation. It was just not good enough. It was unacceptable and I take full responsibility.”
“If I see referee Craig Joubert again, I am going to tell him how disgusted I am. It was disgraceful that he ran straight off the pitch at the end like that.”
“I dreamt about it from when I was five years old and my school friends were teasing me about it. When I was about seven, I said, ‘I’m going to win the Melbourne Cup’, and they always give me a bit of grief about it and I can’t believe we’ve done it.”
“I am a mountain goat that keeps going and going and going, I cannot be stopped, I just keep going.”
“I am the president now, the president of everybody.”
“That is someone who should be given the Nobel Peace Prize. His contribution to the global humanitarian sphere is colossal.”
“I want to talk about betrayal. Today, first of all, I was very sad. But not anymore. Now I am fighting.”
“I wasn’t happy with my medical staff, because even if you are a medical doctor or secretary on the bench, you have to understand the game.”
“It’s a big frustration to accept, because I feel like my work was betrayed.”
“I don’t want to talk about how disappointing it is for me. If you have any other questions, I’m open for that.”
“This has been the most unpleasant golf tournament I’ve seen in my life. I mean, the man who designed this golf course had to have had one leg shorter than the other.”
“They were simply the worst most disgraceful surface I have ever seen on any tour in all the years I have played.”
“Luckily, that amount of money doesn’t sort of mean much to me anymore.”
“Total rupture of left ATFL and associated joint capsule damage in a soccer kickabout with friends”
“The bright side is at least I kicked Rickie’s butt today.”
“Yes, why wouldn’t he be? He didn’t have the baby. Unless he’s breastfeeding, he should be alright.”
“Well he’s used to it, he’s got bigger tits than me!”
“We played a game of snooker at this house… I let him win.”
“Real Madrid are the third of Jose Mourinho’s old teams Rafa has coached. We tidy up his messes!”
“The lady needs to occupy her time and if she takes care of her husband’s diet she will have less time to speak about me.”
“I still think I’m the best coach in the Premier League.”
“When players have not had a career, played at a really bad level... Robbie Savage being one. He’s dug me out a couple of times. You take it as a footballer, as an individual. I’ll take it from the Rios, Carraghers and Nevilles all day long. From others? Nah.”
“I was waiting for the teeth to come at me while I was swimming. I punched it in the back.”
“I think being a world champion sounds a lot better than winning a race.”
“But I can’t love you obsessively for much longer, this season is all I have left to give. My heart can take the pounding. My mind can handle the grind, but my body knows it’s time to say goodbye.”
“This has been the toughest decision of my life and one which both me and my family have agonised over for a good deal of time.”
“I know that Cork will continue to challenge for major honours in the years ahead. I wish everyone the very best next year and in the years to come.”
“They know as much about serious level sport as I do about the sleeping habits of the Ayatollah.”
“Where success at inter-county level often comes down to marginal gains, the disjointed tactical approach of Anthony and his management team is not good enough.”
“That was the best ride I’ve ever had.”
“Girls were bringing up my partner who had passed away when I was in my bad place and struggling with depression. It is tough to take, but I’m used to it at this point.”
“Between the field and here, if I meet another Waterford person who says ‘you’re in the All-Ireland quarter-final at least’. I think that’s a defeatist attitude... I met my own father on the field and he said ‘at least you’re in the All-Ireland quarter-final’.”
“What is the objective here? Is the objective for the next 40 years to have an All-Ireland championship where only three counties can win it, because we’ve had that for the last 40 years? If that’s what they want, let them stand up and be honest and say it and we’ll all go away and do something else.”
“It’s fucking bullshit, as you can see yourself.”
“The GAA don’t have a leg to stand on. They have to apply the law as it stands and the law is a yellow card. It’s not a police state... this is not North Korea.”
“Some people have said that Cavan football is as ugly as Marty Morrissey. I should apologise... to the people of Cavan for that.”
“I want to say that what I said about Marty Morrissey was said in a spirit of affection, not literally.”
“I see these shots, I see these sequences and I believe in them. I knew he would over-extend and I knew I’d catch him so Mystic Mac strikes again.”
“If I was listening at all to your punditry team, there would be little chance of us fighting back.
“But, thankfully, I didn’t listen to them, and particularly a couple, who should possibly be looking for other jobs themselves now, because they get it wrong so often.”
