Football’s poor relation simply misunderstood

The runnin’ and hoppin’ and leppin’ — and, if you’re Irish, the punchin’ too — will doubtless hog the headlines in London for the next couple of weeks (with the old dopin’ likely to get a bit of a showing too) but, with 26 sports on offer at the Olympic Games, the unfamiliar, the esoteric and the borderline weird will also get their place in the sun and rain.

So bring on the Greco-Roman grapplers! Let’s all dress up for the dressage! What do we want? Synchronised swimming! When do we want it? Now! And that’s before we make space in our packed TV-watching schedule for the archery, the shooting, the mountain biking and, er, the football.

Yes, the old footie certainly knows its place at the Olympics, kicking off even before the torch has been lit and the Games proper commence. Not so much an after-thought as a pre-thought, it sees the world’s most popular sport cast in the role of Status Quo at Live Aid.