Why a new, improved Nollaig na mBan is not enough

In rekindling the old tradition, Irish women have toppled a mean-spirited custom but the fact we need it at all is a sign that we have a long way to go before gender inequality is consigned to history, writes Clodagh Finn

BEING a bit short of inspiration, I retold that old Three Wise Men joke at Epiphany yesterday. You know the one; it goes: “What would have happened if it had been Three Wise Women instead of Three Wise Men?” “They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole and brought practical gifts.” Boom, boom.

I like it because it’s vaguely funny, contains a shred of truth and it’s a nice nod to the fact that January 6 is also Nollaig na mBan or Women’s Little Christmas, an old Irish tradition that has experienced something of a comeback in recent years.

In some ways, the revival of the day when women used to visit each other for tea, cake and chat after the relentless kitchen duties of Christmas is a quaint and happy occurrence. It’s heartening to think that mothers, sisters, daughters and female friends everywhere can get together for one last hurrah before the juice cleanses and the Pilates promises start to pinch.

And, better still, Nollaig na mBan is no longer just a single day. This year, the celebration continues over the weekend, thanks to a new light projection festival designed to bring women, from all periods of history, out of the shadows into the light.

But Nollaig na mBan in itself is not a reason to celebrate. It was — and not that very long ago — a day when women were begrudgingly granted a few crumbs from the Christmas table. I know many older women who consider it a mean-spirited tradition when women were supposed to be content with the season’s leftovers.

It didn’t help matters that there was a tendency to transpose the adjectives and refer to January 6 as Little Women’s Christmas as opposed to Women’s Little Christmas. In the southwest, where the tradition was strongest, there were more than one or two “little women” who had something to say about that.

And the linguistic putdown wasn’t confined to English either. In Irish, an old proverb speaks of “Nollaig na bhfear, Nollaig mhór maith (men’s Christmas, a fine big Christmas) and Nollaig na mnan, Nollaig gan mhaith (women’s Christmas, a no-good Christmas)”.

How wonderful, then, to see that in rekindling Nollaig na mBan, Irish women have also succeeded in subverting it. They have turned something that was often seen as a patronising pat on the back to the women who did most of the work in the kitchen into a wider, more meaningful celebration.

Here are some examples. For the third year in a row, the Galway-based charity Breast Cancer Research is running a campaign to help raise money for breast cancer, which will affect one in 10 Irish women during their lifetime.

In Dublin, the Irish Writers’ Centre marked Nollaig na mBan by commemorating the centenary of writer Maeve Brennan’s birth, which fell on January 6, 1917.

And, for the first time, a new countrywide festival will put women’s names in lights. Some are famous, others have been forgotten and more still never got the recognition they deserved. Illuminate HerStory hopes to change that during its four-day festival which continues until Sunday. All over the country, images of women are being projected on town squares, libraries, museums and buildings — look out for them.

You’re also encouraged to celebrate at home, in schools or in local communities by organising an event based on the image of a woman you admire.

As HerStory founder and director Melanie Lynch explained: “In the dark month of January, we chose the theme of light. We want to start the year with optimism and hope as we strive for equality for all.”

Three cheers to that. And hats off, too, to HerStory, a social enterprise that aims to tell the “multi-faceted, lost, forgotten and untold life stories of Irish women from history and today”.

This latest Nollaig na mBan initiative comes with a big ambition: Organisers hope it will become an annual event and inspire the world to celebrate women in the same way as the global greening on St Patrick’s Day.

It’s a rousing start to 2017 and, unfortunately, one that is badly needed. Because behind all the celebration lurks the uncomfortable truth that women still have a struggle on their hands.

In a more equal world, we wouldn’t need a Nollaig na mBan, even the new, improved version. It’s a pity that we can’t talk about it as an outdated throwback to an unenlightened time when half the population was bombarded with patronising advice on how to juggle a career with motherhood and still have glowing skin.

The prize for exposing the absurdity of that advice and the impossible roles that we still foist on women must surely go to The Man Who Has It All, the Twitter account and now book (From Frazzled to Fabulous) that offers men the same kind of ridiculous advice women are supposed to heed.

Sample quotes: “Can curvy dads ever be truly happy?” “Can you be a dad and still feel sexy?” and my favourite, “Why staying hydrated will improve your career prospects.”

Another excellent exposé of the difficulties faced by women, in particular working ones, comes from author and comedian Sarah Cooper and her “Nine non-threatening leadership strategies for women”, a top-class guide for women who fear being considered too pushy or competent in the workplace.

Sample piece of advice: “Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don’t come across as too clear or direct.” So, instead of writing, “Send me the presentation when it’s ready,” try this instead: “Hey! J Can I take a peek at your presentation when it’s ready. Thanks!! J J”

On this Nollaig na mBan weekend, I wish women (and working dads juggling career, family and looking good) a year where they are free to topple old traditions and invent a raft of liberating new ones.