Terry Prone: Why care about your funeral? It’s not like you’re going to be there

Funerals are a bit like social media ‘likes’, says Terry Prone

We learned this weekend that Esther Rantzen, the minute she was told she had stage four lung cancer and therefore was likely to die pretty soon, started planning the aftermath of her departure. Picture: PA

An undiscovered natural law. That’s what it is, and I want my name on it. Here’s how it works. Up to the age of 50, you get four weddings to every funeral. At 50, the balance tilts and by the time you’re 70, it’s four funerals to every wedding. Which is OK.

Funerals tend to be cheaper and shorter than weddings, if you’re an innocent bystander. Less possibility of emotional meltdowns by the central figure on the day, too. It’s somebody else’s problem, and undertakers are at least as good as wedding planners and a hell of a lot cheaper.