'I wasn't safe': Former soldier tells Defence Forces Tribunal she was gang-raped by army colleagues

Former soldier told Defence Forces Tribunal on Wednesday: 'I was afraid. I was only out of school.' Picture: Leah Farrell/RollingNews.ie

A former soldier broke down in tears after giving harrowing evidence to the Defence Forces Tribunal of being gang-raped by soldiers when she was 19, at the start of what was referenced as a “long and distinguished” career.

Speaking from behind a screen, Ms Y revealed she became pregnant and had the pregnancy terminated.

She said she didn’t tell anybody at the time because she was worried she would be kicked out of the army.

“I didn’t know who attacked me, I didn’t have any evidence,” she said.

“What happened to me should not have happened.

“I should have been safe in a place you call home for as long as you are there.

“I wasn’t safe.” 

Earlier,  she said that after the group of three men stopped raping her in her bed in quarters at a barracks she was staying in, she said one of them warned her: “If you ever say anything, you will be kicked out of the army.” 

She told the tribunal hearing: “I was afraid. I was only out of school.

“I was 19 years old and (joining the army) was all I had ever dreamed of doing.

“That they could take (my) dream away — it was a case of ‘Keep your mouth shut and you’ll keep your job’.” 

When she later discovered she was pregnant, she said she was “devastated”.

She recalled: “I cried my eyes out. What was I going to do? If I say anything, is this the end of my career.” 

Ms Y said it took her a week to tell anybody. Her mother asked her how it happened, but Ms Y said: “I couldn’t tell her. She’d only take me out (of the army).

I didn’t want my career gone.

Ms Y said she “went away and had a termination" and very soon after “went back to work”.

Ms Y said she suffered flashbacks, but when asked if she ever sought help or even reported the rape, she replied: “Absolutely not.” 

Asked about this by tribunal barrister Lalita Morgan Pillay, Ms Y replied that she was worried she would be kicked out of the army.

'I didn't want that on my back'

She said she did not know to whom to make the complaint. “I was only a young woman, and I didn’t want that following me.

“I didn’t want that on my back.

“It’s not a nice thing to have people talking about you.” 

Ms Y said she didn’t want to be “tainted or tarnished” as a woman who had accused others of having raped her.

She said she didn’t seek help with mental health issues that followed because she feared she would be “downgraded”.

Her role in the army would be reduced, as it might be asked “could you be vulnerable to hurting yourself or somebody else” when you had access to loaded weapons.

Asked if “downgrading” holds people back from seeking help with any mental health issues, she replied: “Yes.” 

On not reporting the gang rape, parts of two statements she provided to the tribunal in 2024 were read out by Ms Pillay, the tribunal barrister.

It referenced how she persevered with her career because she felt that if she had reported the rape or decided to leave the army, “the people that raped me would have got their way but I did this for me”.

Before she came to the end of her direct examination at the tribunal, she said: “I put it behind me. I moved on.

“I had an amazing career.

“Not reporting (the rape) was hard.” 

Ms Y said that if the tribunal achieves one thing, it would be the establishment of a totally independent complaints and grievances body, akin to Fiosrú, the Office of the Police Ombudsman.

She said there has to be an independent body because the way things are now is “like the gardaí investigating a robbery they carried out”.

She added: “(The army) is not a bad place. I lived my time.

“But it needs to change.” 

This current public hearing module is the latest phase of the tribunal, which was established in June 2024 by then tánaiste and defence minister Micheál Martin, after a report of a review into allegations of brutal and “sadistic” abuse.

Allegations contained in the March 2023 Independent Review Group report, included the rape of both male and female soldiers.

Those abused include the Women of Honour, a group of serving and former members whose allegations featured in an RTÉ documentary in 2021 which prompted the review.