What team do the Republic of Ireland want to be relegated?

More than £2m (€2.37m) raised by taxing plastic bags in Northern Ireland is to benefit some 250 eco-friendly community projects, Stormont’s Environment Minister has announced.

When Mohamed Al Fayed, standing on the Craven Cottage pitch for the last time as chairman, reached into his pocket and pulled out a giant comedy moustache for a photo shoot with new owner Shahid Khan — who has his own giant very real moustache — Fulham fans everywhere must have smiled.

Liverpool have “embarrassed” Fulham over their failure to follow up an inquiry for Clint Dempsey, an angry Martin Jol claimed today.

Kerry farm auctions are a weekly event for Tom Spillane at the moment and he has now announced the forthcoming auction of another two farm properties — with a total of almost a thousand acres between the two.

Fulham have today rejected an offer from QPR for Andrew Johnson.

MANCHESTER UNITED defender Chris Smalling admits he would not be where he is today without the two years he spent at Fulham. Smalling will show no mercy towards his old club tonight when United visit Craven Cottage hunting three more points in their quest to retain the Barclays Premier League title.

Roberto Mancini insists he has harder weeks in football management despite the continuing furore over the Carlos Tevez affair.

FULHAM winger Damien Duff has signed a one-year contract extension to keep him at Craven Cottage until summer 2013.

Fulham winger Damien Duff has signed a one-year contract extension to keep him at Craven Cottage until summer 2013.

MARK HUGHES resigned as Fulham manager last night despite having agreed terms on a new contract with the club.

MANCHESTER UNITED goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar is delighted that his Champions League-winning penalty shoot-out save against Chelsea is set to be the signature moment of his career.

Fulham 1 Manchester City 4

MARK HUGHES yesterday refused to comment on speculation linking Ireland goalkeeper Shay Given with a move to Fulham.

ALLIED Irish Banks is seeking €43 million judgment orders against a building company and three of its directors over unpaid loans issued for developments in Co Kerry, including a nursing home and 81 associated residential units.

Bobby Zamora is facing a race against time to be fit for Fulham’s Europa League semi-final decider against Hamburg next week.

West Ham are believed to be considering lodging an official complaint over Fulham’s team selection last weekend.

IT’S not often you’d expect a fair-minded man like Roy Hodgson to come to the defence of boo-boys.

Fulham manager Roy Hodgson is set to name an unchanged side for Sunday’s FA Cup fifth-round tie against Notts County at Craven Cottage.

ATMOSPHERE-WISE, the short trip to Fulham is always one of my favourite outings of the season, as with Arsenal fans being allocated the entire Putney Stand, the craic in our stand behind the goal at Craven Cottage is invariably up to ninety.

WHAT’S the betting that former Government minster, now bookmaker and broadcaster, Ivan Yates completes a cross-border radio link, for family and old times sake?

THEY have the best-named fanzine in football – ‘There’s Only One F In Fulham’.

DAMIEN DELANEY could be on his way to Ipswich to join Roy Keane.

Mansony got back to winning ways for Davy Russell and Arthur Moore in the rearranged Normans Grove Chase at Fairyhouse.

Schoolboy memories came flooding back for Republic of Ireland winger Stephen Kelly as he watched Glenn Whelan arrive on the senior international stage.

KEVIN KEEGAN insists he is enjoying his time back at the Newcastle helm — but will enjoy it even more once he has banked three precious Barclays Premier League points.

LAWRIE SANCHEZ lamented the “usual drama at the Cottage” after claiming Fulham had been denied two precious points by poor refereeing.

IT’S THE END of the world as we know it.

Wigan boss Paul Jewell made three enforced changes for the Barclays Premiership clash with Wigan at Craven Cottage.

Aston Villa 0 Fulham 0

SHANAWAY Cottage near Ballineen in West Cork is expected to appeal to a first-time buyer. It’s a renovated property with half an acre of gardens which also has full planning permission for an extension which would triple its size.

RUUD van Nistelrooy is staying at Manchester United, according to his agent.

Fulham today announced a profit of £500,000 (€720,000) for the year to June 30, 2004.

AN orchard, chicken run, veggie patch and a house that’s neat and nice - that’s Todd’s Cottage on the Sheep’s Head peninsula in Co Cork.

Fulham manager Chris Coleman has resigned himself to beginning the new Premiership campaign without Luis Boa Morte.

Fulham’s Dave Beasant is looking forward to kicking off next season at Craven Cottage after local council officials approved the Londoners’ £5m (€7.1m) scheme to bring their outdated ground up to Barclaycard Premiership standards.

Fulham have confirmed that they will play their home games at Loftus Road for another season.

JOHNNY Murtagh's decision to bypass Cork, in favour of Naas, saw Fran Berry grab the opportunity with both hands and land the featured King Charlemagne Stakes on Miss Honorine at the southern venue yesterday.

Fulham demolished Bolton 3-0 at ecstatic Craven Cottage tonight to mathematically secure their FA Barclaycard Premiership status and spark dreams of an Intertoto Cup campaign.