“We are time’s subjects and time bids be gone,” wrote Shakespeare — the other one, not Craig at the King Power Stadium.

IT said it all about the predicament in which Manchester United find themselves that their 2-0 defeat to Burnley at Old Trafford on Wednesday night felt like a huge deal for the visitors but, in a very strange way, just more of the same for those home supporters who clogged the exits with ten minutes still to play.

Let’s get this nonsense over and done with, writes Steven Kelly.

IT will come as news to some that Conor McGregor, the well-known whiskey impresario and threat to public order, is fighting this weekend.

When Manchester City lost to Wolves the other week, a colleague groaned “only the outbreak of World War Three could stop Liverpool now”.

Just when Manchester United had kidded themselves they were closing the gap on their noisy neighbours, even if it was only by a fraction, they were brought back to cruel reality at Old Trafford in this Carabao Cup semi-final

Happy new year, and let’s start as we are likely to go on in 2020; with black facetiousness.

May I be the amongst the first to prematurely wish you a happy New Year? All the happier for United’s win at Burnley on Saturday night, of course, which left us occupying the dizzying heights of fifth place.

It’s the end of the year, and hopefully says you, the end of the end of year awards.

It’s not been a common pre-kick-off feeling this season but, for once, looking at a United teamsheet gave me hope last night.

Children of a certain age always end up asking one day ‘what is the Watford Gap, daddy?’ Yesterday, you might have suggested it was the chasm in the earth De Gea wished would open up after yet another of his blunders.

It’s been said that if your romantic relationship can survive race week in Galway, well, it’s a union worth pursuing, such are the potential pitfalls on the track and in the snugs of those hallowed, cobbled streets.

It’s that most magical time of the year, as the yuletide song goes, and football certainly gave us a good dose of that old black stuff yesterday.

For much of the past few months, you could argue that the British Prime Minister whom Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has most resembled is Boris Johnson. A hugely popular potential saviour who ends up stumbling into one contretemps after another, yet somehow always manages to plough doggedly on to the next.

Imagine for a moment you were the kind of John Bull-ish Anglo United fan who wears St George’s Cross underpants to bed. It would certainly have been a gutting week for you.

"Blimey. We almost beat the European champions in a game 90% of us had presumed would be heavily lost. And so now, please hold me back, lads."

Daniel Storey looks back at the weekend's action.

“It’s United’s worst start for 27 years!” shrieked one UK tabloid yesterday. “Blimey, that sounds horrific,” I briefly muttered to myself, before remembering what season they were referring to: 1992/93.

Offering an idea for sale to the week’s sport In the North London derby tomorrow afternoon, Unai Emery and Mauricio Pochettino will enjoy a welcome break from the tedious business of narrative control.

As is now traditional here when United play the (snigger!) ‘Super Eagles’, I salute the entire mass of the Crystal Palace Irish Supporters’ Club.

Happy anniversary to us, dear reader. It’s 20 years to the week since this column began, and how very different the United world is today.

In its final year at Dun Laoghaire Harbour, Beatyard provided a convenient and mud-free setting, along with some great music, writes Ed Power.

There are two definitions of ‘charisma’ in the dictionary - and while Jose Mourinho may prefer the description as a ‘divinely conferred power or talent’, we're sticking to the more traditional understanding of the word - a ‘compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others’.

Shane Lowry may have been at the centre of a whirlwind of celebrations and media attention since his Open Championship victory at Royal Portrush on Sunday but he is hoping his hard-earned status as Ireland’s newest major champion will not change him.

After waiting eight years for Ireland to reach the U19 Euros, captain Lee O’Connor wants a swift start today against Norway in Yerevan (3.45pm, RTÉ Two).

Manchester United have made an improved offer to goalkeeper David De Gea in an attempt to finally agree upon a contract extension.

Former Manchester United captain Rio Ferdinand has refused to rule out the prospect of returning to the club in a technical role.

As Aslan’s set climaxed with This Is, chants of “Olé, Olé, Olé,” rang around the Marquee in appreciation.

Never mind the pointless abomination that was United versus Cardiff. The final whistle has just gone at Brighton versus City, and I find myself yelping a cheer for the triumphant Blues.

“Don’t get me wrong,” sighed a favourite old colleague as we balefully examined United’s dim final-week prospects yesterday morning. “I’m still glad Ole’s at the wheel. It’s just that he’s driving a sodding clown car.”

The ‘Week from Hell’ duly ended on Wednesday with the thoroughly expected defeat to City. So, now begins the ‘Fortnight of Purgatory’.

As we approach the business end, minds already drift to business time at the Premier League’s fallen powers.

As the embers of the Manchester derby begin to cool, Manchester United legend Roy Keane is leading calls for his former club to buy an entire new defence this summer to ensure that being second best doesn’t enter United’s DNA for good.

Ger McCarthy looks at the three things we learned as Man City beat Man United 2-0.

Former Manchester United midfielder Roy Keane has hit out at the players at his old club, saying there are "too many bluffers" at Old Trafford.

Ole Gunnar Solksjaer may well experience first-hand tonight the gulf in class that currently exists between his Manchester United side and their treble-chasing neighbours but, regardless of the result, the club’s new manager is already searingly honest in his appraisal of their standing in the English game.

“Goodison is no place to go with a Spanish hangover,” fretted your pessimistic correspondent here last week, although not even I thought the week would turn out quite this badly.

Bienvenue from French Catalonia, where your correspondent is en route to watch either the end of United’s trophy hopes or one of the greatest nights ever.

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s ability to inspire Manchester United to a memorable Champions League victory over PSG underlined the Norwegian’s credentials.

Manchester United and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer finally bowed to the inevitable yesterday as the Norwegian was officially announced as the club’s permanent manager with the Old Trafford cult hero immediately issuing a warning to his players.

No doubt as to what was the dominant angry shout of the past week: “That was never a pen!” (Well, leaving aside Neymar’s dad yelling at King Eric.)

We were all wrong about VAR.

Paris St Germain head coach Thomas Tuchel is wary of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s qualities and Manchester United’s never-say-die attitude ahead of tonight’s Champions League clash.