Joanna Fortune: My six-month-old baby is refusing to take a bottle 

Pic: iStock

I’m trying to wean my six-month-old daughter off breastfeeding, but she refuses to take a bottle. I understand why she prefers breastfeeding but I’m tired from the constant feeding and want to go out now and again to meet my friends.

While satisfying and rewarding, the constancy of on-demand breastfeeding can also be exhausting for parents of infants. You may find you want to breastfeed your baby but feel drained and exhausted by doing so.

From a baby’s perspective, the appeal of your breast will most often outweigh the appeal of the bottle. Lying on your chest, they feel the beat of your regulating heart, the warmth of your skin against their cheek (and likely in their hand as they explore your body further through touch). Breastfeeding is a deeply tactile experience, and there is a lot of comfort and sensory engagement within it. No wonder many babies struggle when we seek to wean or introduce a bottle.

You have an understandable desire to have some time for yourself. But it is possible to breastfeed and have time to meet your friends if you want to explore this option. You might find it helpful to meet the lactation nurse in a health centre, who can connect you with other breastfeeding parents in your community to build relationships and learn about that balance.

They can also advise you about structuring your feeding (especially now that your baby is starting on solids and won’t be solely dependent on you for food) to alleviate some of the exhaustion you are feeling.
Consider blending breastfeeds with pumped breast milk so that while the bottle might be new for your daughter, the milk is familiar and comforting.

If you want to stop breastfeeding, the lactation nurse can also support and guide you on how best you can initiate your weaning process and connect you with community-based, volunteer-led support groups in this area. You can consult a private lactation consultant if that option suits you better and is within your financial means.

I am not a weaning expert or advisor but I suggest you start to sing a particular song while you are feeding and gradually drop one feed and substitute with a bottle.

Start with the easiest breastfeed to drop for you and your baby (it might be an afternoon feed around her mealtime when she is trying solid food, for example) and when you offer the bottle, sing the same song, stroke her cheek in the same way so that it doesn’t feel so dramatically different to her.

Resistance is to be expected. Calm and consistent persistence is critical to support her through this transition. Again, she might find it a little easier to accept a bottle initially if it has your pumped breast milk.

Weaning is a process and it can be challenging for parents and babies, so take time to plan it, reach out to your support network and be kind to yourself.

If this is the end of your breastfeeding journey with your baby, celebrate it and all you have given her and experienced together.

• If you have a question for child psychotherapist Dr Joanna Fortune, please send it to [e-mail]