Joanna Fortune: I have been in her life for 10 years but am I a good enough step-parent?

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I am a step-parent to an 11-year-old girl. Her family background is difficult, she lost her mother at a young age and custody is shared between her grandparents and my husband. I have been in her life for nearly 10 years and have been building my relationship with her over that period. The problem is I never feel good enough and I worry about how to manage my feeling of inadequacy. What can I do to believe I am doing my best and I am good enough?

You have been an active part of parenting, nurturing, guiding, supporting, and loving this child for a decade, essentially all of her life. You are a reliable and consistent part of her attachment network. That is precisely what children need — calm, clear, consistent, predictable caregivers who have their interests at the heart of their choices and decisions.