I was told I would never father children — these lifestyle changes made it possible

When a couple is struggling to conceive, the immediate focus is often on the woman. However, a male factor is the likely reason in half of all cases, strengthening the case for testing men sooner

“Any change that you make can potentially make a difference to your semen test three, four, five months down the line.” says Dr Sarah Martins DaSilva

“What does it mean to be a man if you can’t reproduce?” This is the question Conor Moehle asked himself after he was told by a doctor that he would never father children.

Moehle, who is from Dublin, had just turned 30 when he received the devastating news on Valentine’s Day last year.

“As soon as the doctor told me I would never father children, I dropped my head — I couldn’t make eye contact with him. I felt this hot wave of guilt and shame. I remember looking down and seeing his feet, and he was wearing white Crocs. That memory is lodged in my brain.”

Moehle says that the following weeks were “pretty dark”.

“I questioned so much about what it means to be a man and probably had depression-like symptoms because it was just such a challenge to my male ego.”

Dr Tim Dineen, senior clinical embryologist at the Waterstone Clinic, says this questioning of their masculinity is a common reaction from men. He has researched the psychological impact of infertility on the male partner and has worked at the fertility frontline for decades, and says men can experience “infertility distress” when it comes to their idealised masculinity, mental health, self-esteem, and relationship satisfaction.

Dr Tim Dineen says men often experience 'infertility distress'

It was by chance that Moehle found out he was infertile. After a year trying to conceive with his wife Kerri, in a moment of boredom while working abroad in Germany, the then 30-year-old decided to get a fertility test. The results indicated his sperm motility, concentration, and morphology were at a very low level, which would make it almost impossible for him to conceive a child naturally.

After receiving the test results, he struggled with telling his wife. Kerri.

“One of the first things I said to her was that I completely understand if you want to leave me,” he says.

Moehle says it was her unwavering support and reassurance that gave him the strength to look into what he could do to improve the situation.

When he asked his doctor if there was anything he could do, he told him to “maybe try a supplement”.

Moehle, who works in business strategy in a German retailer, took to the internet, researching what he could do to increase his sperm quality.

He started with relatively easy lifestyle changes, including reducing his drinking, as alcohol is associated with oxidative stress, which can affect sperm quality. He also avoided heat around his groin area, moving his phone from his front to his back pocket. Heat exposure can temporarily lower sperm count and reduce motility — testicles need to be 2C to 4C cooler than the body’s core temperature for normal production.

Lifestyle changes

Making lifestyle changes can help to improve sperm quality in a matter of months.

“Sperm are built continuously,” says Dr Sarah Martins DaSilva, chair of reproduction and fertility medicine at the University of Dundee. “It takes about three months to build a sperm from start to finish. Any change that you make can potentially make a difference to your semen test three, four, five months down the line.”

Martins DaSilva led a 2025 research study into male fertility, and specifically, how male fertility is treated when testing or identifying issues. The survey of 504 men in Waterstone Clinic in Cork and ReproMed Clinic in Dublin found that one in eight of those surveyed had been trying to conceive for more than three years before they underwent any fertility assessments.

“If a couple go to their GP or a family doctor, and they’re struggling to get pregnant, there’s a real immediate focus on the female partner. Is she ovulating and hormone tracking? That will be followed by blood tests and ultrasound scans. And the man often is not included in those initial evaluations and conversations,” says Martins DaSilva.

“That’s the message the research paper was trying to get across — it takes a sperm and an egg to make a baby. We know that a male factor is the likely reason behind people not getting pregnant in half of all cases. So why aren’t men being asked to be evaluated, and why aren’t we testing men sooner?”

As well as making lifestyle changes, Moehle researched supplements he could take. He identified 10 ingredients that kept coming up in reputable studies on male sperm health. “I bought them all individually. So for months I was taking 14 tablets a day.”

After five months, Moehle got his sperm retested, and “my numbers went way up”. His sperm morphology (the size and shape of a sperm cell) went from 0% to 3%, sperm concentration went from 16m per ml to 33m per ml and progressive motility (how a sperm moves) went from 21% to 75%. Martins DaSilva breaks down the important numbers when it comes to semen analysis. “There are really three headline results: sperm count or sperm concentration needs to be at least 16m per ml. We also look at the way sperm swim, it’s called progressive motility, which describes sperm that are swimming in a meaningful way, in a certain trajectory and at a certain speed. And you need about 30% of the sperm with this progressive motility.

“Finally, we look at the morphology, which is how the head, neck, and tail [of the sperm] looks, and we score each cell. We’re looking for just 4% of the cells to look perfect from top to tail.”

The size and shape of a sperm directly affect its ability to make its way through a female’s reproductive tract.

The most common abnormalities with sperm, Martins DaSilva says, are motility issues and a low sperm count.

For Moehle, even though his new figures “weren’t superhero numbers”, he went from despair to believing fatherhood was possible. Just two months later — after taking the supplements and making lifestyle changes — at the end of October 2025, Moehle’s wife found out she was pregnant. Their baby daughter, Hope, was born in June.

His experience of overcoming his fertility issues got him thinking. In the absence of information on male fertility and sperm analysis, and medical support, he says he had been unaware that he could make any difference to his initial sperm assessment.

Conor Moehle with his daughter Hope who was born in June. When he was told last year that he would never father children, he set about making some lifestyle changes.

“The education wasn’t there to tell me that some lifestyle changes can improve my sperm quality. Even if you do very simple things, like reducing alcohol, giving up smoking, then wait three months and see where you are. Had that information been given to me, I think I would have left the doctor’s office feeling a lot more hope.”

Information is power, says Martins DaSilva. “The study found that 79% of men wanted more information about sperm testing, male reproductive health, and blood tests.”

Men’s fertility awareness

Dineen is seeing some change in men’s fertility awareness but says that change is slow. “There’s a bit more understanding that fertility isn’t just a female concern, but I still think there’s a reluctance to some degree for guys to just go ahead and have a semen analysis unprompted.”

He encourages men to be more proactive. “Men need to man up, essentially, and get that information at an earlier stage.”

Knowing the fertility status of both parties in a couple makes for more informed decision-making, argues Martins DaSilva. “It means the couple can say, OK, we know what we’re dealing with, so we know that we should try IVF, or maybe we might not need to go with IVF yet. It empowers the couple to make the choice that’s right for them.”

Having that information earlier can make all the difference, says Dineen. Time can be of the essence when it comes to female fertility, he says, and if there are delays in getting the male tested, this can impact the overall chances of success. “The couple may be coming through for treatment because of a male problem, but now all of a sudden the couple’s success may be related to the female age and not actually linked to the fact that he is the problem.”

Although Moehle didn’t hesitate to independently get his semen analysed, he confesses to being less than informed about sperm quality and male fertility in general. Apart from becoming a father, his experience has been life-changing in other ways. He has since become a passionate speaker on male fertility at events like the Future Fertility Show and has developed his own range of supplements aimed at helping to improve sperm quality.

“I never planned to become an advocate for change in attitudes towards male fertility. ‘I’m passionate about sperm’ wasn’t exactly the bio I thought I’d have attached to my name, but here we are. I’m proud to be getting the message out there that men need to step up.”

Steps that may improve fertility

Martins DaSilva outlines five actions that may help improve your fertility:

1. Quit smoking

Smoking is strongly linked to poorer sperm count and motility. Stopping is one of the few changes where doctors clearly see improvements in sperm counts and overall health.

2. Lose excess weight

Being overweight or obese is associated with “oxidative stress,” which can damage sperm DNA and the cell membranes that affect how sperm swim. Weight loss can help reduce that stress on the body.

3. Reduce alcohol and caffeine

Bring both alcohol and caffeine down to moderate levels. Heavy drinking in particular is linked with oxidative stress and reduced sperm quality.

4. Rethink bodybuilding and performance supplements

Certain bodybuilding supplements and similar products may “inadvertently affect fertility”. Review what you’re taking and cut back or stop anything that might be harmful.

5. Persist with changes for at least three months

Sperm are produced continuously, and it takes about three months to make a sperm from start to finish. Any lifestyle changes you make today may only show up in a semen analysis three to five months down the line, so earlier testing and changes matter.