Tony Bates: Silence is a way of expressing what words can’t say

Clinical psychologist Dr Tony Bates is halfway through a six-month retreat at a Trappist monastery, a sanctuary where he can quietly reflect on life and deepen his understanding of love

Dr. Tony Bates. Photograph Moya Nolan

At 3.15am I am woken by my alarm and slowly register where I am. I’m exactly where I want to be. But even after three months, this premature sleep interruption still feels cruel.

I rise and dress myself in clothes carefully laid out the night before. Experience has taught me to minimise the need for decision making when half asleep.